scrappy posted a quote
October 11, 2021 4:43am UTC
While sitting here trying to figure out my purpose in a world that seems to loath my existence. I've had the epiphany that I think my purpose is to care for those who cannot care for themselves. And if you can't care for yourself, then you can't care for others which means I'll strike out each and every time. It'll never matter what I do for them or how much I care for them. They will never be able to love me the way I love them. They'll never be able to care for me the way I care for them. My purpose is to make others feel like they have worth. All the while, I am chronically lonely without ever truly being alone. I don't want to do it anymore. Maybe that's selfish for not wanting to make others feel worthy of something, or feel loved without having it reciprocated back. I don't think I was ever meant to be happy. When is someone going to come along and make me feel worthy and loved? Where is that someone who won't just love me for the first few years and stop trying once they have me? Where is my person who drops everything for me because they want to see me happy, not because my sadness makes them feel guilty? I don't think that person exists. It doesn't have to be a significant other, but what about even just a friend? A friend that doesn't make me feel like a burden when I talk to them? A friend that texts first? A friend that keeps my secrets and doesn't judge me for anything? A friend that puts me ahead of other friends like I would for them? Who am I kidding?
SheDreamer posted a quote
June 28, 2020 2:23am UTC
i. learning to love is a l o n e l y t a s k i am not loved like that "no vacancy" hangs over my chest "we have no room in this ghosttown for you" ii. tempted to trace hot lines of desire streaking my sheets red blistering beneath bluejeans iii. you were made for labor, not for love. i whisper, pulling compression socks over swollen toes. you were made for labor, not for love. i hum, silence nestling herself into my ribcage. not for love. not for love. my mouth is empty. the endless warehouse shelves vibrate from boxes running along the roller tables, tumbling head-over-bubblewrap into a truck driver's delivery route. the bowed steel groans crookedly, promising only for labor. only for labor. iv. i've dreamed of summer romance. how fitting i spend my time in a box taping boxes shut sending taped boxes into larger boxes leave in a wheeled box to come to a box where somebody lives. my body-box is damaged goods where is my sell-by stamp? v. i cannot learn to love. i am only fit for labor. i set the table for three: my body-box, loneliness, and silence. i do not make dinner. best to leave the table unsatiated. -help wanted, apply within (no vacancies) original by shedreamer
~it'll be another official year. in a week for me to say i have lived this long after everything I've been through. I'm Proud, but for the love of God and the sake of everyone around me, please dont let me suffer on the day that means most to me by having to spend 2 hours with you around. i see you enough, why the frick does it have to be on the most important day that i'm stuck with you? Hasn't the universe already gotten much proof that im trying to get away from what i hated most? From the people that hurt me most? . . . From the objects that hurt me most? At least those 3 have taught me a lesson. You just gave me a demo of what hell would be like.~
~You were my sky. ~I looked forward to every morning and night because of you. ~For no reason...~You didnt keep me calm...~You didn't love me like you said you did..~You didnt do anything.~You loved me but you didn't know how to show it...~I guess your way of loving me was by hurting me.~Those things you said and did...~I used to be so happy because im at peace when i look up at the literal sky~Now when i look up, all i want to do is cry. ~No lie, sometimes i want to die because i let myself give in~You were my sky...~But now i kind of want you to burn in hell, but i know I'll see you there when im gone.
~Its OK to cry, It's OK to want to scream, It's OK to get excited over the little things, the things other people may not be excited about. Regardless, we are still going to be labeled. So I say, live the best life you could have. Not everyone may approve but it's all up to you💕~
"I'm just trying to figure out why she's attached to me" ~~~Because you care for her, you've been around since day 1, its easy for her to talk to you, you guys are close and she doesnt want to share you. They're the same reasons why a girl gets attached to their bf so easily. Unless he doesnt give a million damns about you as much as he says he does and then you try to convince yourself its okay, as long as youre there, its okay but really its not because he still doesnt give a damn. Sure, we get attached, but it's because we think you care. Because you once did or told us you did. And when you don't, we freak out wondering why we aren't worth your time to care about us~~~
~One day, we said it'll be only us. Nobody else. ~One day, we said it's over. We were through.~One day, I wanted you to call me, just so I had a reason to yell.~One day, I told everybody, including me, I was happy.~One day, I said I wouldn't shed a tear.~One day, I never thought it'd be me, calling you.
crimson24 posted a quote
September 25, 2017 10:59pm UTC
everyone likes to leave. it's worse when they think i like it. it's confusing when i don't know whether i wanted them to or not. it's despairing when i realise im probably the one that pushed them away. it's gut wrenching when i realise im 14 again. but i know more of the truth now. and it's terrifying no matter which direction i go.
seafoam* posted a quote
September 14, 2017 12:01am UTC
Please keep all credit in the codes/parts of codes you'd like to use. [That includes keeping this little message thing here as well. c:] (c) Gilded T o be so lonely you told your- self you liked to be this way & almost believed it was true.