Lmao Quotes

happiest*
posted a quote
July 6, 2015 2:16pm UTC

reasons i can relate to a raccoon:
~dark circles around eyes
~small & chubby
~lives in the trash and eats garbage
~cute but will fight you
~stays up all night
~washes hands a lot
~communicates solely through weird noises and screams

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Amenah
posted a quote
April 11, 2015 3:14am UTC

i just went and made a shitthatsridiculous tumblr because im pretty sure i'll lose 7 followers for spamming witty with my pain (I CARE SO MCUH LOOK FEELINSG SO MUCH)

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phee
posted a quote
April 8, 2015 6:57pm UTC

♔
me & my room
are twins,
we're both a mess

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beyondsanity
posted a quote
March 15, 2015 8:01pm UTC

Go to bed early Fridays.
Do homework Saturdays.
Go to work then do more homework Sundays.
Hate your life and go back to college Mondays.

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beyondsanity
posted a quote
March 15, 2015 7:58pm UTC

I just...
I just don't think you understand
How frustrating it is
To look this good.

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Amenah
posted a quote
February 24, 2015 6:43pm UTC

I remember when people used to make quotes that were like applications for witty best friends. Still not over it.
people. i just. no.

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Gpc11
posted a quote
February 9, 2015 2:11pm UTC

Why unicorns are dead. http://youtu.be/1yD7NC2Urdw

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Gpc11
posted a quote
January 23, 2015 3:32pm UTC

I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at, before you take up bird watching.

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 23, 2015 2:04am UTC

math jokes aren't funny
nothing about math is funny math is a sin

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Gpc11
posted a quote
January 20, 2015 8:25am UTC

That moment when you check out a nice @§§ and a stranger looks at you then nods at you. That's the universal nod of all men that says "dat @§§".

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GhostTown
posted a quote
January 16, 2015 11:37pm UTC

I was once reading a horribly written story on Wattpad and in one of the chapters, the girl started her period early so she went to the bathroom to put on a tampon. Then, her boyfriend walks into the bathroom all casually and has a conversation with her as she is putting in a tampon.
#Relationshipgoals

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 16, 2015 11:20pm UTC

one time, i woke up in the middle of the night
and i forgot i was at home, and don't get me wrong, it was the second night i was home from school and clearly forgot, i hadn't been home for three and a half months almost. so, i woke up and looked to my right and saw hair and immediately reached for my wall, because at school my bed is against a wall, and when i reached, i grabbed air and started freaking out because i was like omfg i got wasted last night and idk where the hell i am and there is a stranger next to me omgomg what did i do and literally it took me a solid five minutes to figure out the it was my dog, and my mother heard me freaking out and ran into my room and asked me what was wrong and i was bawling my eyes out at this point and she's now rubbing my back as i explain that i didn't realize it was the dog next to me and it took like ten minutes after that for me to finally stop crying and was able for her to leave and it was like the worst night ever because that is when i learned one of my biggest fears and it was not fun at all.

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 16, 2015 11:13pm UTC

honestly i have a huge obsession with
miley cyrus, one direction, and justin bieber and i can honestly live with that shame

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