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Best Laugh Quotes This Week

  1. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 8:22pm UTC
    If Taylor and Harry were still together and I saw them:
    Taylor and Harry: *making out*
    Me: *gasp*
    Taylor and Harry: *look at me*
    Me: You're that guy from that Pepsi commercial and you're all like "and I'm Herreh!" I love that commercial!
    Harry: Err, thanks.
    Me: And you! You're the one that dated Joe Jonas and Lucas Till!
    Taylor: *nods and smiles*
    Me: And Taylor Lautner! Oh, and John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal!!
    Taylor: *stands there awkwardly*
    Me: Oh! And that guy from Glee, umm, Cory Montieth! OHH and Zac Efron! And Eddie Redmayne!
    Taylor: Uh...
    Me: Oh, and I can't forget Connor Kennedy!! ...Dang, that's a lot of guys... *looks at Harry* Good luck, bro.
    Not meant to offend either swifties or directioners. just thought it was funny. Follow me and I'll follow back, duh.

  2. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 15, 2013 7:20pm UTC
    It's funny how if you get an A
    on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.

  3. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 7, 2013 5:11pm UTC
    Niall Horan: I hate it when girls act stupid because they think it's cute. Intelligence is attractive.
    Me: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with a flux capacitor, carry the two, change it's atomic isotope into a raioactive spider. follow for a follow.

  4. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 23, 2013 7:38pm UTC
    Me: Taylor Swift is a bad singer. Do you agree?
    Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.
    not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.

  5. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    May 2, 2013 3:03pm UTC
    They told me
    that to make him fall in love
    I had to make him laugh.
    But everytime he laughs,
    I'm the one who falls in love...

  6. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2013 4:01pm UTC
    today i saw this cute cop and my first thought was “damn i would tap that a.ss so bad” and then he laughed and came closer to me and i thought i did something bad and i couldn’t think what was it and when he started talking i took off my headphones and he said “that was quite a compliment young lady” and in that moment i realizED I SAY THAT OUT LOUD AND FCK MY LIFE AND WHY MUST I HAVE A MOUTH WITH NO FILTER

  7. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    February 17, 2013 4:16pm UTC
    There’s nothing
    like the deep breaths after laughing that hard.
    Nothing in the world like a sore stomach
    for the right reasons.

  8. carson5482 carson5482
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 4:30pm UTC
    "My cousin is six.
    I was talking to him the other day and I said
    'What do you want to be when you're older?'
    He looked at me and went 'A unicorn.'
    And I was like 'Why is that?'
    'So I can stab people with my head.'"

  9. 365days* 365days*
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 12:35pm UTC
    THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MUSIC NERDS LIKE US
    *My sister and I trying to teach a boy to play piano*
    Boy: Did you ever take piano lessons?
    Sister: No, Im a natural I guess.
    Me: Well, aren't you sharp?
    Sister: Take notes then.
    Me: Now, lets not cause any treble.
    Sister:
    Me: Score!
    Sister: Give it a rest.
    Me: Are we going to be doing this the whole time?
    Sister: I could go on for forte days.
    Me: That would B major.
    Sister: I swear, you are beat in' me up over this.
    Me: Im sorry, I didn't mean to. It was accidental.
    Sister: You have some major problems.
    Me: I don't like your tone.
    Boy: Come on guys, compose your thoughts carefully.
    Sister: Yeah, lets stick to the coda conduct.
    Me: Okay, this is getting ritarded.
    Sister: Yeah, I can't think of anymore clefer things to say.
    Me: This is alto much for me.
    Sister: This is really becoming unbarible.
    Me: Good thing you are A minor. Your jokes are so bad, you could have got double time.
    Boy: What is going on? Why are you guys laughing so much?
    Sister: Well, bassically- *starts laughing*
    Me: Okay, lets just get bach to the music. Its too much for her to handel.
    Yes, we had an entire conversation in music puns. If you don't know much about music and band, this probably makes no sense.

  10. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2013 6:50pm UTC
    "If there are any idiots in the room,
    please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 29, 2013 3:44pm UTC
    Looks like Billy Ray put
    too much loco in Miley's hot cocoa

  12. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 4:05pm UTC
    Sometimes I wonder how many
    miles I've scrolled my cursor...

  13. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2013 7:16pm UTC
    I hate it when teachers say
    "You think it's funny?" Obviously. That's why I laughed.

  14. LandonIsWitty LandonIsWitty
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2013 11:58am UTC
    The other day, a woman got wooden breast implants.
    A funny punchline would be good here,
    wooden t i t?

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 16, 2013 7:38pm UTC
    Tell someone, "you wore that
    shirt the day after yesterday" and see how long it takes them to get it.

  16. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    March 2, 2013 10:13pm UTC
    One Direction Insults:
    Louis: Boys with as/es like mine don't talk to girls with faces like yours.
    Harry: I care about you like Niall cares about childbirth.
    Niall: I can make your girl scream louder just by clicking the follow button.
    Zayn: Your face is as ugly as mine is sexy.
    Liam: I know you are but what am I!!

  17. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2013 1:35pm UTC
    every christmas my mum suggests that we all sit and play monopoly, and every year it ends with her crying in the corner, dad refusing to talk to anyone, my older brother screaming, my little brother running away and me sat at the table laughing maniacally as i buy 2 more hotels

  18. LandonIsWitty LandonIsWitty
    posted a quote
    February 28, 2013 11:20am UTC
    What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
    ..........
    .........
    ........
    .......
    ......
    .....
    ....
    ...
    ..
    .
    ..
    ...
    ....
    .....
    ......
    .......
    ........
    .........
    ..........
    "Bison."

  19. Eli22b Eli22b
    posted a quote
    May 31, 2013 8:30pm UTC
    "All you do is sit on that computer."
    Lies, I sit on the chair.

  20. spence* spence*
    posted a quote
    July 22, 2013 6:26pm UTC
    don't you hate it
    when people make a joke about you, about something
    you're actually incredibly insecure about and they don't
    realize it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest,
    because it hurts so much and brings up memories you'd
    rather forget. but you can't say anything, because then
    people would know your weaknesses. they'd know how
    insecure you really are. so instead you just laugh it off,
    and hide the pain you feel inside.

:)

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