30 letters. (year ii)
i; q/6938079
1- to my best frend.
x
2- to my crush.
You need to stop getting naked in all your movies. It isn't good for me.
3- to my parents.
No more apologies. I want to get to know myself, and I'm not gonna say sorry for that ever again.
4- to my siblings.
We're so messy. We've always been so loud and broken and backwards. We're all so, so flawed. We all have our own little secret fxck-ups. So many secrets. So many jagged edges. We're so, so messy. (I think we only work that way.)
5- to my dreams.
I control you. Not the other way around. Stuff of legends, and on.
6- to a stranger.
We share an terrible and big world.
7- to my ex-crush.
Nice arms. A++.
8- to my favourite internet friend.
Deysi: you make me feel like young and foolish. Thank you so much. Laura: 92% convinced you were an angel in disguise. Bailey: I hope I can be like you one day. I aspire to have your eyes. Emily: dear lord, have i ever met a girl sweeter than you? Abby: i adore you, you are genuinely just too cool for me. Chrys: shut up ur a libra no-one cares (i'm actually shocked at how well you know me, darling).
9- to someone i wish i could meet.
You gave me confidence when I'd smashed my ego to pieces. It's shocking what an accent and a kindred spirit can do.
10- to someone I don't talk to as much as I'd like to.
Who else but Bailey? I'm really private. I close up like a clam spontaneously. I stay silent for months on end. And despite all that, I want to know you better.
11- to a deceased person i wish i could talk to.
x
12- to the person who has caused me the most pain.
You've overtaken my mother. But I guess that's because I had to forgive her, and you... you didn't even try to apologise. You--... I've said my words. I've said them to the empty air enough. Enough.
13- to someone i wish could forgive me.
I don't know when it happeend, or how or why, but I'm looking at you right now and I can't see you. That reflection... that's not me. It's not me.
14- to someone i've drifted away from.
I still miss my father. I will probably always miss you, even when your'e standing right beside me.
15- to the person i miss the most.
I can't write this. enough.
16- to someone who's not in my country
It's painful because so many of these letters were written to you last year, and now reading them over makes me cry. And you don't deserve more than one. You never deserved more than one.
I'm okay, you know. I'm going to university in September. I can control myself. I don't nkow why I'm crying as I write this, but i'm okay without you. these tears aren't for you.
I'm starting to learn to be okay with myself, that's all.
17- to someone from my childhood
I was once the little girl who would tell all her teachers about her wonderful, kind big brother.
18- to the person i wish i could be.
i persevere. i work hard. i work.
19- something that pesters my mind.
I still haven't fixed it. I'm scared. I'm scared.
20- to who broke my heart the hardest.
you don't deserve so much space in my life, enough!
21- to someone i judged by my first impression of them
you know, sometimes, you meet a person and they remind you so much of someone who hurt you in the past that you automatically clam up to protect yourself. but in reality, you... you are kind. and sweet. and so much more innocent than you let on. and i really respect you.
22- to someone i want to give a second chance to.
enough.
23- to the last person i kissed.
x
24- to the person that gave me my favourite memory.
I had an older brother who was so kind to me.
25- to who i know is going through the worst times.
You... put yourself in this position. You're weak. And I don't know how to help you anymore.
26- to the last person i made a pinky promise to.
x
*I haven't made a pinky promise in a long time.
27- to the friendliest person i only knew for one day.
I still think of you and smile. You were sweet and cute and so humble. And clever, and absolutely my type. This hasn't changed since last year. (I hope, in two years, I stumble across you on a night out and we talk. Just talk. I... wanted to get to know you.)
28- to someone that changed my life.
Laura. Yeah, you. You-- ah, well I guess you made me feel comfortable with being a dork. A geek. A nerd. Passionate.
29- to the person i want to tell everything to, but am too scared to.
You say you want to know me, but I think if you really did, you'd want to back away.
30- my reflection in the mirror.
there's no art to it. you just keep breathing, slow and easy. and that's how it's done.
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