what do you do when you dont really feel like a person anymore but everyone still perceives you? when nothing around you even feels real and your memories all scatter until you dont know what is even real and what is the dream world? everything that felt so vivid could never have been real and everything that you forget are the ones that are worth remembering. how do you manage to do everything that you just do when you arent a person anymore. just a shell with nothing left of you but shame, and love. so much love.
I can't help but wonder why I can remain only looking at your face and feeling only your body, for the rest of my life, never even being attracted to another man. But why you can't go a few seconds without having thoughts about other women. You think I don't hear you talk about her. You think I don't see what you're looking at while you sit right next to me. But I do, and i know it's silly but it hurts.
Does anyone else remember when people used to write stories on Witty? That was why I made my first Witty account in 2012. Me and my two online friends used to write stories and create our own characters and then ask each other for feedback. It was so fun.
places that once meant nothing to me are now infected with a virus called bittersweet nostalgia, in which symptoms are not present yet but will be once they leave my life and cause every next visit to these places to result in strong emotions i did not even know i could have
whatdoidoo posted a quote
September 13, 2016 9:42pm UTC
i feel good by myself but i don't feel like i can love the same ever again. i can't stop talking about myself and i feel like part of my empathy and capibility to love has withered. i know it's only been one and a half months since we broke up, and it gets better, i get that. and trust me, i'm so much better already. i've made so much progress so far and am awaiting more in the near future. but i feel like this first love, followed by its breakup, just changed me in a way that made me more selfish. it's good to be selfish, i suppose. it's good to care for yourself and put yourself first. but my favorite part of myself is to be unselfish and be curious about others. while i am curious about others, i also ramble on and on about myself, as if i suffocated throughout the whole relationship and never spoke a word to anyone... please let me stop talking... i am only interested in listening.