Hilarious Quotes

23chars
posted a quote
September 25, 2014 5:55pm UTC

People who don't put cases on their iPhones have the kind of confidence I need.

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23chars
posted a quote
September 25, 2014 5:50pm UTC

POOL PARTY AT MY HOUSE
bring your own pool.

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I'm a Niall Girl*
posted a quote
September 24, 2014 11:10am UTC

Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.

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julie_urzua
posted a quote
July 16, 2014 1:16am UTC

Average JoeHaha :)

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DestinyCaribou
posted a quote
May 23, 2014 9:06pm UTC

me in math: if you're having math problems, i feel bad for you son. i've got 0.999 problems but that's basically one.

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Allauralove
posted a quote
May 19, 2014 8:25pm UTC

I wish my wallet was as big as my thighs

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Allauralove
posted a quote
May 19, 2014 8:23pm UTC

I wish my wallet was as big as my thighs

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Tilly*
posted a quote
May 18, 2014 2:57pm UTC

adding "and sh\t" to the end of a sentance
makes it sound cooler and sh\t

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MegaFunsize101
posted a quote
April 23, 2014 9:42pm UTC

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are ugly
I don like u
Jk ;)
Im juss kitten!
OKAY DON'T FREAK OUT IM TEASING CANT YOU TAKE A JOKE OMG
Meoww

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 18, 2014 3:40pm UTC

Me and my friend talking about the Janoskians
Friend: I always pronounced Beau correctly. (Bow)
Me: I used to call him Beau (Buew).
Friend: Wow, not a real fan...
Me: I based it off of how I pronounced beautiful. I don't go around saying bowtiful, now do I?

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foreverbutnever
posted a quote
April 15, 2014 2:00pm UTC

Are you Neville?
Cos I'm long for your bottom.

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macdaddy118
posted a quote
April 15, 2014 3:36am UTC

You are under arrest
for the killing
of an innocent vibe

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*Suicidal Fantasy*
posted a quote
April 13, 2014 11:09am UTC

I'm really good at guessing, why do you think I fail all my tests?

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
March 28, 2014 4:07pm UTC

Introducing my children in the future...
Friend: Awe, what's your name?
Me: We call her Lucy.
Friend: Is it short for Lucille?
Me: No, Lucifer.

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TheNamesAshleeNicole
posted a quote
March 28, 2014 1:46pm UTC

Tough titty said the kitty when the milk ran dry;)

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† *
posted a quote
March 23, 2014 6:41pm UTC

So you're the b.tch that told the b.tch that I'm a b.tch
well listen b.tch it takes a b.tch to know b.tch,
b.tch.

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XPerfectlyImperfectX
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 10:23am UTC

If TUMBLR Was A Subject,
My Parents Would Be SOO Happy!
~Yeaahh~

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DestinyCaribou
posted a quote
March 11, 2014 3:39pm UTC

"will people stop talking about
that damn ice movie?"
"it's like they can't Let It Go"

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tayzilla
posted a quote
March 5, 2014 6:35pm UTC

Girl pockets: Can fit a piece of lint. If you're lucky, two pieces of lint.
Boy's pockets: Can fit car keys, a notepad, a calculator, the neighbor's dog, an apartment complex, the entire state of Hawaii, and half of Jupiter.

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zee1220
posted a quote
March 3, 2014 2:25pm UTC

You make me laugh...
you tell me you have a girlfriend but you "can't" tell me who
you think every girl in school likes you
you tell girls lies about their beauty just to get with them, even if you didnt mean it
and my favorite?
you make everything, every little problem, every little comment,
all
about
you
im not gonna hold my breath for you.
typical woman killer, man whor.
keep in mind, Karma is a show
and ive got my popcorn

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