Best Haha Quotes This Month

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 3:20pm UTC

do you ever
make a huge scene
and then march off to your bedroom but
eventually you get hungry and you
feel like you can’t leave your room because you
want to prove a point or something
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1001 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC

a lot of my life
has been realizing that i would
cross oceans
for people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:56pm UTC

Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-scented shampoos before? Everything was just strawberry, cinnamon, and citrus. Nice, normal things.
Now I pick up a bottle of shampoo and it's all like:
"DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYA MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLIAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOU HAIR SOME VOLUME."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 844 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:46pm UTC

i just want to go to
a coffee shop
on a rainy day and order something nice and warm
and have an attractive stranger around my age say
“I’ll have one of those too, please”
and for them to smile at me and introduce themselves
and for us to slowly fall in love in a coffee shop
but instead whenever I go to a coffee shop ,
I find teenagers taking pictures
of their orders with their iPhones
and middle aged women wearing
yoga pants..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 812 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 6:29pm UTC

one time
i put my mum’s bras on a
ceiling fan because i though it’d be a
funny prank but then some
people came over to look at the
house and i didn’t have
time to take the bras down so
when my mum turned the fan on bras
flew all around our kitchen and
landed on the people and like
no one wanted to say
anything so we acted like
bras weren’t strewn across all of us
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 696 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 4:43pm UTC

this one time
in sixth grade i was waiting for
my bus because it was
late and this girl was
cleaning out her locker and a
teacher was helping her and
all of the sudden the teacher started
screaming and the girl started
crying and all i heard was “
YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH LIVING
IN YOUR LOCKER??!!”
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 667 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 23, 2013 1:36pm UTC

do you ever get so annoyed
at everything
that you start to get mad at even little things
like a spoon clinking against a bowl
or sounds of people talking?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 647 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 1:18pm UTC

non-english speaker: I am awfully sorry
at the terrible state of my
English abilities, as for the
English language is not my mother
tongue. I hope you forgive me
for every foolish mistake I make.
english as first language: lol it okei
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 637 points

Magic_Eight_Ball
posted a quote
June 16, 2013 1:55pm UTC

If you've ever...
Got your period while wearing white pants,
let us cry together.
Sneezed while you put on mascara,
let us cry together.
Spent 30 minutes on a math problem and found out you copied it down wrong,
let us cry together.
Thought up on ways to start a conversation with your crush and then have them log out right when you start typing,
let us cry together.
Gotten your period on your birthday,
let us cry together.
Not recieved your acceptance letter to Hogwarts,
let us cry together.
Had someone go through and like all of your sixth grade photos,
let us cry together.
Had to pee while tons of people are talking outside your stall,
let us cry together.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 657 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 8:51pm UTC

Normal people with their crush
Them: Okay, I've liked him for about a month now, it's time I tell him!
Me: Day 76,435 and I still am watching from this bush. Soon, I will approach him. Soon.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 602 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 7:20pm UTC

It's funny how if you get an A
on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 586 points

kristabff
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 7:31pm UTC

'unfollowers'
Spelled backwards is srewollofnu. Which sounds like "screw all of you".
Coincidence? I think not.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 583 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 3:37pm UTC

when you step on
your pet's foot
DOG: IT'S OK I LOVE YOU
ANYWAYS YOU'RE MY
BEST FRIEND COME ON
LET'S GO PLAY!!!!!
CAT: What the heck? Do you have
any idea what you just did? You
stepped on my fricken foot, you
moron. I will not accept your
apology so easily I'll just
leave you for a while and hide and when
you come near me I'll hiss at you
stupid. Go on a diet fatty maybe
then it won't hurt so goddarn much
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 575 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 30, 2013 8:37pm UTC

2 types of wittians:
the bed wittians and the desk wittians
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 620 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 5, 2013 8:29pm UTC

mom
i can't go to school
i've got
the ugly
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 524 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 12:22pm UTC

#1 Rule in Math
if its easy, you're doing it wrong.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 504 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 1:16pm UTC

she didn't get it
friend: hey do you have any crackers
me: no
me: we're crackalackin'
please tell me you do
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 496 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 16, 2013 8:57pm UTC

this guy
at my school shows up every day with like a fake wolf tail clipped to his back belt loop, and I always see him running from class to class and jumping over things and he looks so happy to exist and sometimes he brings a lil wolf puppet with him and he makes it run along next to him on the strings
I’m just like u go wolf kid live ur dreams
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 500 points

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 5:08pm UTC

if a number is not
divisible by 5 or 2
I get very uncomfortable

👍 this is good · read the comments · 485 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 8:13pm UTC

"go fetch!"
i say to my
dog as I throw a
stick. he
stares at me
blankly for a few
seconds. i
encourage him to
fetch again. he
looks me
dead in the
eye and says
“stop trying to make
fetch happen”
then walks away
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 468 points

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Best Haha Quotes This Month