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Best Ha Quotes This Month

  1. Cammie Cammie
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 7:29pm UTC
    Saw a guy walking by himself and not looking down at his phone.
    What a weirdo.

  2. Livelovemusic11 Livelovemusic11
    posted a quote
    April 1, 2013 3:04pm UTC
    I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in my bathroom
    Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
    Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
    Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
    Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.

  3. CookieMonster09* CookieMonster09*
    posted a quote
    October 11, 2013 2:05pm UTC
    When i joined witty: whoa, how do you make them awesome fonts
    me now: whoa, how do you make them awesome fonts

  4. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 11:50am UTC
    but mom you’re from the 70’s and I’m a 90’s b/tch

  5. ocean pixie* ocean pixie*
    posted a quote
    October 1, 2013 1:41pm UTC
    if you ever feel like you did something stupid, just remember zac efron and his yolo tattoo

  6. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 1:09pm UTC
    *stops running* i…i.. *puts hands on knees* i can’t *panting* keep up with the kardashians

  7. Bravosierra* Bravosierra*
    posted a quote
    July 19, 2013 9:10pm UTC
    What if Steve went on vacation
    To find people on witty.
    The person who causes the most crap.
    The most famous.
    The funniest person.
    The "dude,"
    Like, what if he's tracking down our addresses right now.
    Just to visit us.

  8. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    January 25, 2013 2:03pm UTC
    What goes through a girls head while spooning:
    Aw, this is so cute, I love my boyfriend so much, we will go on to have beautiful babies and grow old together for eternity.
    What goes through a boy head while spooning:
    Maybe if I poke her with it, I'll put her in the mood.

  9. Bravosierra* Bravosierra*
    posted a quote
    August 26, 2013 2:50pm UTC
    Fashion advice for high school
    please don't cake on your makeup.
    please don't stuff your bra.
    it doesn't matter what size you are, wear clothes that fit you.
    the rat look was out of style like 3 years ago
    showers are whats in this season
    brushing your teeth is something cool kids do for fun
    perfume smells great, you should probably consider trying it.
    deodrant is a must have this season.
    you can't wear uggs, shorts, & a hoodie.
    don't wear your feelings.
    & most importantly....
    seniors hate you

  10. Chris* Chris*
    posted a quote
    September 29, 2013 11:19am UTC
    My friend told me atheists are the most honest and selfless people alive. They are honest because they are not fearful of the way they are percieved by those who disagree with their beliefs, and they also do not trick themselves into thinking that there is someone watching over them. When they feel alone, they feel alone. They are selfless because when they do something kind, it's because they want to do it. When they donate or they help or they make someone's life easier it is not an act to try to earn their spot in heaven. They are doing this because they just want to be the best they can be.

  11. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    July 10, 2013 8:13pm UTC
    i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today" and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg"

  12. Leslie and Alli * Leslie and Alli *
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 9:30pm UTC
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Sunflowers are yellow....
    I bet you where expecting something romantic..
    Nope just some gardening facts.

  13. thatswutshesaid thatswutshesaid
    posted a quote
    April 18, 2013 4:53pm UTC
    Me in school: what is this
    Me in school: what do we write
    Me in school: what was the homework
    Me in school: what do we do
    Me in school: i'm tired
    Me in school: i wanna go home
    Me in school: what time is it
    Me in school: when does this class end
    Me in school: when is the test
    Me in school: how do you do this
    Me in school: when did we learn this
    Me in school: i'm hungry
    Me in school: what
    Me in school: wait what happened
    Me in school: what's going on
    Me in school: when is lunch

  14. thatswutshesaid thatswutshesaid
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 4:27pm UTC
    attractive person: hey
    me: what is this
    me: is this some kind of sick joke
    me: who paid you

  15. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    January 29, 2013 7:53pm UTC
    That awkward moment
    between birth and death.

  16. alyson545 alyson545
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 8:04pm UTC
    Ten Reasons Why
    Chapter Eight
    "Are you done yet?" Noah grumbled from outside the door for what felt like the hundreth time that hour.
    And yes, my fixation took about an hour.
    Who knows, I lost track of time after the first five minutes.
    "No, now shut it," Delilah snapped, looking irratated that she was hearing
    the same question as a few minutes ago.
    She had just put on yet another outfit on me that she had put together with the clothes
    from her closet.
    Most of her clothing had fit me, seeing as she was pretty tall for her age.
    She looked over my whole body once, and I was enormously relieved to
    find her smiling in approvement at what she had put on me. "This looks really good.
    Of course though, we're gonna have to go shopping to fill up your closet with
    some cute stuff. You can't just wear something cute one day."
    I shrugged, honestly not caring how I looked at school, as always.
    But yet, after the young girl had spun me around and towards the
    mirror to look at myself for the first time, I gasped at what I found.
    I couldn't lie, the girl was good.
    What I wore was honestly rather simple, yet still stunning.
    Especially compared to the sweatpants and baggy t-shirts I usually wore.
    I now wore a flowy white tank top, which showed off my surprisingly
    nice curves since it was tucked into some ripped light skinny jeans, which also showed off some fit legs I never took notice of before.
    To complete the look, i wore a golden charm necklace that hung low,
    and some gladiator sandals.
    On top of that, Delilah had applied some makeup on my face, simple things
    like mascara, lip gloss, blush, etc. Though in conclusion, it gave off
    the natural makeup look. My dark brown hair cascaded in waves over my shoulders
    and down my back. It almost went down to my waist,
    surprising me since I usually wore it in a ponytail, so I hadn't known it was this long.
    All in all though, I felt so pretty right then-- something i hadn't felt in a bit. After everything in my life went downhill, I stopped trying.
    "Okay, now I'm done!"
    "Finally," Noah grumbled from outside, his voice muffled. He opened the door, sauntering in.
    And then he froze.
    _________________________________________
    Oh Noah boy, what shall you say in the next chapter?
    Oh and , I don't notify anymore, it takes a while with so many people needing to be notified.
    Sorry guys. :(

  17. sophsunflower12 sophsunflower12
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 6:13pm UTC
    see, i would make a joke about 4/20,
    but don't think we ed appreciate it on witty..

  18. funnyquotess funnyquotess
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2013 8:53pm UTC
    Do noodles end their prayers with
    "ramen"?

  19. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    March 31, 2013 7:37pm UTC
    f is for friends who do stuff without you
    u is for ur alone
    n is no one wants to be with you because all you do is sit at home

  20. NezhoniiLovesTheFay NezhoniiLovesTheFay
    posted a quote
    September 12, 2013 7:39pm UTC
    me: *gets on YouTube*
    me: oh noooo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
    me: crap the band i like is getting popular
    me: *cries*

:)

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