Grandma Quotes

ChristineCaroluz*
posted a quote
December 4, 2016 8:30pm UTC

It's been so long since I heard your voice.
I remember you being my neighbor on Collins street.
Your dog Pete would always bark and scare me.
One time, when I was very younge, I had a concert in my school..
But I got sick so you picked me up early.
I remember when we were in my aunts house on A street,
and I was singing A THOUSAND YEARS. for a contest at this church URBAN HOPE.
The next year I sung TALKING TO THE MOON for the next contest.
I lost both, but you kinda got mad. You felt that i deserved to win.
You always said I can be famous!
I can go to America's got talent, American idol, ect.
I miss you so much grandma.
Why did Cancer have to take you away!?!!?!
I have to keep singing in your honor.
I love you

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Xarior
posted a quote
May 22, 2014 10:24am UTC

Me And Cleverbot
CB: Of what?
Me: In his head.
CB: In whose heart?
Me: Hey grandma you've got earing problems!
CB: You're right, that isn't very respectful.

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happiest*
posted a quote
April 25, 2014 9:48am UTC

My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
BFF:Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma:[concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF:No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
Grandma:What?
BFF:I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma:[relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.

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DrOctopus
posted a quote
April 15, 2014 6:04am UTC

I wanted to start my own last minute grandma rental service... But the name InstaGram was already taken.

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
February 9, 2014 10:27pm UTC

I spent 10 minutes today
Trying to explain to my grandma what
A selfie was
It wasn't the easiest job in the world

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*•°¯`••songbird••´¯°•*
posted a quote
February 4, 2014 12:19pm UTC

You know what hurt the most when my grandma passed away?
when my grandpa said "I lost my companion"
((It broke my heart))
</3

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*•°¯`••songbird••´¯°•*
posted a quote
February 3, 2014 12:47pm UTC

R.I.P Grandma
30/01/1938-02/02/2014
I'm so speechless.You left us without warning.
You will be missed.
You may not be here right now,
but i now you're looking down upon all of us
You are an inspiration to me and i hope that
I'll grow up to be at least half the woman that you were
I'll miss your beautiful voice.
To a great woman,
With lots of love
Your granddaughter <3

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DawnRaven
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 11:00am UTC

Grandma(Nam): Oh, look, it's a nice movie about snakes!
Me: Nam, there's no such thing as a 'nice' movie about snakes. That's Anaconda. It's a horror movie. Change the channel.

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24601*
posted a quote
January 16, 2014 4:50pm UTC

i was on my computer all day, and when i didn't eat anything my grandma started praying xD

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vmorehous*
posted a quote
January 15, 2014 5:20pm UTC

Fml. I'm soo done.

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mtndewhm*
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 7:24pm UTC

Girl: Do I have cramps or has my appendix exploded
Girl: Does my boob hurt or am I having a heart attack
Girl: Am I on my period or is this internal bleeding
Girl: These are our struggles
Boy: Thinking dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
Boy: The struggles of a man
Girl: Boo hoo
Girl: Thinking of my naked grandma isn't going to suck the blood back into my vågina

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MissF2F2F2
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 11:25am UTC

Grandma: How old are you?
*1 week later*
Grandma: How old are you?
*1 week later*
Grandma: How old are you?
Me: 56. So, did you want to see Claire this weekend? She's 21 this week, of course. I take it you'd like to take her somewhere, seeing as you're her grandmother?

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Skimrande
posted a quote
December 10, 2013 5:36pm UTC

If you ever feel like your relatives give you weird presents just know that for my sixteenth birthday my grandma got me a card that said "sixty can be sexy" and for my seventeenth birthday she got me a box of brownie mix and two rolls of Scotch tape.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
December 9, 2013 5:19pm UTC

Smiling at an old person to show them you're not a thug but when they don't smile back, it confirms that they are actually the thug.

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 2:11pm UTC

Omf I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vag.ina”

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TheNamesAshleeNicole
posted a quote
November 8, 2013 11:27am UTC

maybe music does make us younger, cause if my grandmas favorite song comes on, we all know shes getting up on that table

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Heidi*
posted a quote
November 2, 2013 7:21pm UTC

Parents: For Spring Break, we are going to Montana and we are staying with Grandma.
Me: Awesome! What are we going to do there?
Mom: Help Grandma paint all the walls in her house.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 5:55pm UTC

My cousin accepted my grandma's facebook friend request within an hour
and hasn't accepted mine in 2 years.
Okay, Grandma, what the f.uck

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OmegleTalk
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 9:08am UTC

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
You: :)
Stranger: 23m U
You: 23094f
You: oh sorry didnt mean the 230, 94f
Stranger: r u 94???
You: okay i lied
You: im 106
Stranger: r u on Yahoo messenger
You: no but im on life support

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DJ*
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 1:40am UTC

"Halloween is the perfect time for all of your deceased relatives to visit anytime they want. Be good or else the ghost of your grandma will haunt you for life, until you start being good."
~derekajames

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Grandma Quotes