You Stupid Moron
Why?
Why can't I be as pretty as them?
As smart?
As kind?
As charismatic?
As attractive?
As beautiful?
As loved?
As selfless?
Why did I have to turn out this way?
Where's my bikini body?
My gorgeous eyes?
My plump lips?
My flawless locks?
My irresistible smile?
My curved bust and hip?
My sophisticated thoughts?
My flat stomach?
My A+ grades?
My captivating aura?
My long legs?
I've been looking for so long now, but they're nowhere to be found...
Instead I've found something quite repulsive.
Fat.
Ugly.
Dumb.
Unattractive.
Average.
Flat.
Worthless.
Awkward.
Oh but that's not where it ends- there's more.
Frizzy dull hair.
Small, unshapely lips.
Flat nose.
Small, flavourless eyes.
Short legs.
Fat thighs and arms.
Protruding stomach.
Small breasts and hips.
Selfish, arrogant, unkind personality.
Immature, childish thoughts.
Unintelligent, naive mind.
Talentless, unnecessary existence.
But unlike me, there are girls who have it all, or at least have some. I am surrounded by them. They lurk across the road, on the bus, at school, in shopping centres, at parties, in the park, in the media and social media, amongst my friends. And these are the girls I will shoot hateful glances at and find something, anything about them to criticise.
Because it's easier to hate, than to envy.
So how dare you?
How dare you question the way I wear makeup?
Count calories?
Have random breakdowns?
Am harsh on myself?
Get jealous of other women?
Curl or straighten my hair?
Paint my nails?
Study during breaks?
Get angry at myself?
Always suck my stomach in?
Wear padded bras?
Wear heels?
Laugh all the time?
Take so long to get ready?
Touch up my makeup and hair in the bathroom?
Overthink every single thing you say?
Can't be confident in myself?
And how dare you tell me to love what I see in the mirror, when right beside me, my Facebook newsfeed is filled with pictures of girls who possess a beauty I will never, ever be able to reach.
What an impossible demand you are making.
You stupid, stupid moron.