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Best Fml Quotes This Week

  1. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 15, 2013 7:20pm UTC
    It's funny how if you get an A
    on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.

  2. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 10, 2013 4:13pm UTC
    My love life: Started from the bottom and I'm still at the bottom
    My social life: Started from the bottom and i'm still at the bottom
    My academic life: Started from the bottom and I'm still at the bottom
    My weight: Started from the bottom NOW WE HERE

  3. JoshConnollyTheCoolKid JoshConnollyTheCoolKid
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 3:10pm UTC
    That one person you see every where but don't know their name.

  4. JoshConnollyTheCoolKid JoshConnollyTheCoolKid
    posted a quote
    April 15, 2013 2:20pm UTC
    What is it called when your crush has crush on you too?
    IMAGINATION!

  5. Buttons Buttons
    posted a quote
    March 27, 2013 1:04pm UTC
    Okay, so last week, my seven year old brother was watching MTV with me,
    and someone said the word 'bl0w job'.
    Him: 'What's a bl0w job?'
    Me: 'Uh, its when a hairdresser blowdries your hair....'
    Yesterday he went to the hair salon....
    Mom: 'Okay, what do you want to do with your hair Sweetie?'
    Brother: 'I want a bl0w job!'
    FML

  6. Rajsonkar Rajsonkar
    posted a quote
    August 22, 2013 11:23am UTC
    Plot twist : A girl fell in love with me
    Double plot twist : i woke up

  7. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2013 3:00pm UTC
    Did you hear about the
    guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

  8. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2013 3:04pm UTC
    A new type of broom came
    out. It's sweeping the nation.

  9. * Sabaism * * Sabaism *
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 5:28pm UTC
    Confession #23
    My sister led me to believe boys got periods too
    Said we bled out of our a n u s
    That's why tampons were made
    And we'd spend a week throwing our food up
    So I was terrified,
    Awaiting for my day to come
    Until 7th grade
    When I asked my health teacher about when I'd get mine
    And got sent to the office for
    'Disrespecting the womankind'

  10. Funfunfunisfun Funfunfunisfun
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2013 8:30pm UTC
    Today, I bled through my pants half the day. Everyone noticed it, except me. Even the boys. FML.

  11. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2013 9:42am UTC
    karma: i saw that

  12. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    August 24, 2013 8:14pm UTC
    You know you are losing your
    sanity when you listen to a Webkinz song, and actually like it to the point where you look it up on YouTube and listen to it... btw guys it's called Tiger Tiger and ignore the music video but the beat is actually really catchy alright

  13. JustAnotherWittyGuy18 JustAnotherWittyGuy18
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 2:05pm UTC
    Hit me again.
    I'm still breathing.
    Come on "Dad"

  14. sophsunflower12 sophsunflower12
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 8:28pm UTC
    temporarily getting your phone taken away from your
    possession and not being able to text anyone about it..

  15. JoshConnollyTheCoolKid JoshConnollyTheCoolKid
    posted a quote
    February 11, 2013 3:29pm UTC
    Hate being fat.
    Love eating food.

  16. Amenah Amenah
    posted a quote
    December 29, 2013 7:14pm UTC
    You know what sucks?
    I was a shy little idiot when I first joined this website three years ago. And at that time, it was so much easier to make
    friends on this website (because people tended to comment back faster, and weird as it is, it feels like they used to be
    a lot kinder too?) and there were all these adorable groups of friends of really cool girls that I looked up to. And now,
    having finally moved out of my 'shy little idiot' phase into my 'lol idgaf' phase, witty's so inactive that it's freaking lonely.
    I wish I had spoken out when I had first joined. I feel like I've missed out on so much. I would love to have all these cutesy
    witty bestfriendships like I had hoped to, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen because there are so few users on here
    nowadays. I'd be surprised if 2014 isn't my last year here, unless something changes. This place is bumming me out.
    (come at me, bro)

  17. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2013 4:16pm UTC
    TODAY I WAS READING A LINE
    FROM A BOOK IN MY ENGLISH CLASS AND THE LINE WAS, "The flower withered in her hand...." AND LIKE HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP BUT WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY "WITHERED" I SAID "WITTIAN" WTF OMFGGGG EVERONE WAS LIKE "wut" OMFGGGGGGGGG FML I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THIS

  18. epictacos epictacos
    posted a quote
    November 19, 2013 8:03pm UTC
    MIRRORS CAN'T TALK
    >> lucky for me, they can't laugh either. <<

  19. * Sabaism * * Sabaism *
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2013 10:55pm UTC
    That moment when..
    It's 10 pm
    On a Sunday
    And you havn't even started your homework.

  20. JoshConnollyTheCoolKid JoshConnollyTheCoolKid
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2013 11:32am UTC
    *me late at night*
    me: i'm going to start going to the gym
    me: i'm going to start eating a balanced diet
    me: i'm going be more sociable and try harder to make plans
    me: i'm going to be a doctor
    me: i'm going to invent the cure for cancer
    *me in the morning*
    me: i cant
    me: get
    me: out
    me: of
    me: bed hELp!

:)

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