Contest_funniest_quotes Quotes

happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:19pm UTC

how do mermaids have babies
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
why didn’t aladdin have nipples

👍 this is good · read the comments · 223 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:17pm UTC

u never truly appreciate how nice it is to be able to breathe through your nose until u get a cold

👍 this is good · read the comments · 284 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:15pm UTC

*shouting the wrong answer in class with confidence*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 137 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:13pm UTC

The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:05pm UTC

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you did the best you could
and it still wasn't good enough.
- format by Breeze

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 3:02pm UTC

stop editing your,
Picture's, what is you go missing?
How could we find you if you look like
Beyonce on facebook,
and waka flocka in person.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:54pm UTC

Old people are either super nice
or the meanest people on earth
there is no inbetween.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 62 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:44pm UTC

Format chickittylover
Facebook would be . .
way cooler if it was on t.v, "in other news joes
girlfriend is a cold heartless b/tch.
details at eleven . . . .

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 61 points

vanilla_shortcake
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:36pm UTC

At McDonalds last night this dude,
gave me the wrong flavoured mcflurry,
so i threw it back at him and yelled ,
"You McF/cked up.
format credit to: Jade672

👍 this is good · read the comments · 125 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:31pm UTC

isn’t it weird that you can have friends but also have no friends at the same time

👍 this is good · read the comments · 196 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:29pm UTC

are planets just the suns moons?
does that make our moon… moon moon?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 63 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:27pm UTC

At my school there’s a rule that only one student can be out of class at a time with a hall pass, but today in math a bunch of people forgot their graphing calculators so my math teacher yelled, “EVERYBODY, GO. RUN. THEY CAN’T CATCHH ALL OF YOU.”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 383 points

AWittyGirl
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 11:22am UTC

Someone: *Says something about MCR*
MCRmy: TOO SOON

👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points

*wookie bear**
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 11:22pm UTC

Okay so my day today was crazy:
I was walking to dinner with my friends from dance on break,
and then we see an ambalance-police car-and a firetruck (idk, they have
to come...) and there was this guy laying down on a rock, and there was
like 200 cops around him (15...?) and then he started barfing and he
had a weird butterfly tattoo that looked...really...really fresh.
yeah and then they rushed him away,
was he drunk?
like scary drunk? idk..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points

karliethecool
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 7:47pm UTC

Me at school literally every day.
Boy: Hey!
Me: OMG YESSS!!! uhh... i mean... hh...hehh....hhuhuh..... heeeeyyyYYYYYYyyyyy!!! *somehow trips on thin air into the garbage bin which happens to be a secret portal to space and is saved from embarassment forever because i died in space because no oxygen*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 74 points

capsized*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 2:58pm UTC

I think for Halloween I'm going to RSVP to as many parties as I can and offer to help each one (set up, supply food, clean). I wont show up to any of them though. When mobs of people ask "what happened?" why I didn't do my job, I'll tell them I was just in character.
That's right, I'm dressing up as the Government Shutdown for Halloween.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 2:22pm UTC

One time this boy in my math class ate an eraser it was last week i am seventeen years old the class was A.P. calculus

👍 this is good · read the comments · 142 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 2:17pm UTC

if i was famous i’d answer every inappropriate tweet i got

👍 this is good · read the comments · 254 points

Veronica Smith*
posted a quote
October 9, 2013 10:05pm UTC

What it's called: HOMEWORK
What it should be called: OPTIONAL

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
October 9, 2013 7:51pm UTC

Today marks the 8 year anniversairy
of the first meeting of Dumbledore's Army.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 109 points

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