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Best Clever Quotes Ever

  1. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 15, 2013 7:20pm UTC
    It's funny how if you get an A
    on a test, your grade goes up like 2 percent, but if you get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.

  2. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 8:22pm UTC
    If Taylor and Harry were still together and I saw them:
    Taylor and Harry: *making out*
    Me: *gasp*
    Taylor and Harry: *look at me*
    Me: You're that guy from that Pepsi commercial and you're all like "and I'm Herreh!" I love that commercial!
    Harry: Err, thanks.
    Me: And you! You're the one that dated Joe Jonas and Lucas Till!
    Taylor: *nods and smiles*
    Me: And Taylor Lautner! Oh, and John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal!!
    Taylor: *stands there awkwardly*
    Me: Oh! And that guy from Glee, umm, Cory Montieth! OHH and Zac Efron! And Eddie Redmayne!
    Taylor: Uh...
    Me: Oh, and I can't forget Connor Kennedy!! ...Dang, that's a lot of guys... *looks at Harry* Good luck, bro.
    Not meant to offend either swifties or directioners. just thought it was funny. Follow me and I'll follow back, duh.

  3. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 21, 2013 7:50pm UTC
    *When I'm on Omegle*
    Stranger: 19, male, England, looking for older women.
    Me: Harry, get off Omegle.

  4. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    August 11, 2013 5:08pm UTC
    I wonder if clouds ever look
    down on us and say "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot".

  5. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2013 5:09pm UTC
    Unless you physically see me
    opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

  6. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 4:18pm UTC
    You hear a noise.
    It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.

  7. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    February 23, 2013 7:38pm UTC
    Me: Taylor Swift is a bad singer. Do you agree?
    Siri: I have no comment. I do not want a song written about me.
    not mine. not meant to offend swifties, just thought it was funny. follow for a follow.

  8. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 5:27pm UTC
    Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
    Me: Gravity, mom.

  9. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2013 7:04pm UTC
    They only care if your quote is pretty
    or says, 'This quote does not exist'.

  10. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    I have this weird self-esteem
    issue where I hate myself, but I still think I'm better than everyone else.

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2013 6:52pm UTC
    In 1000 years, archeologists
    will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

  12. MissTomlinson MissTomlinson
    posted a quote
    March 10, 2013 4:45pm UTC
    Me: Sometimes I just want to drag Harry into an empty hotel room, throw him down on a bed, straddle his thighs, rip his shirt off and MAKE HIM EXPLAIN EVERY DANG ONE OF HIS TATTOOS BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THE SUSPENSE.
    Harry: Well... I thought we were going somewhere else there...
    follow for a follow

  13. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 5:45pm UTC
    If I were the guy who made
    the "Where's Waldo" books, I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn't there.

  14. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2013 6:50pm UTC
    "If there are any idiots in the room,
    please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 7:47pm UTC
    Me: *Reading a book*
    Person: What are you reading?
    Me: *holds up book while continuing to read*
    Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies?
    Me: WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU DONE

  16. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    If websites were teenaged classmates:
    Tumblr: The creative computer genius/blogger who everyone is jealous of. Most people copy her work.
    Twitter and Facebook: Brother and sister, they are the drama king and queen of the school. They will tell anyone who will listen about whatever is going on in their lives. They are known for announcing their statuses at the top of their lungs. They are addicted to their iPhones.
    Youtube: A movie making expert who is famous throughout the school. This tech-geek is well-liked and his movies have gone viral.
    MySpace: The lonely girl who sits in the back of the class. She knows what it's like to be popular, but unfortunately, she has been long forgotten. No one really knows why she's even there anymore...
    Witty: The group of mentally crazy teenage girls. They sit on top of desks in the back of the room in messed-up messy buns, and sweatpants eating jars of Nutella and watching cat videos on their phones and telling jokes before laughing like donkeys and falling off of desks. To escape the awkward moment, they joke slowly out the door (jogging for 27 seconds before becoming too tired) to be married to One Direction and Ed Sheeran. Sadly, they both decline their requests for marriage, and they socially awkward Wittians stumble away to the animal shelter to buy as many cats as they like before flying into the grocery store to buy more Nutella. They want to buy clothing too, however they walk away in shame after seeing the price tags on the items.

  17. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    August 28, 2013 5:36pm UTC
    Have you ever thought about
    how weird sleeping is? Like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats and then spend the next few hours completely unconcsious all the while hallucinating vividly

  18. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 4:53pm UTC
    Perks of not having a thigh gap:
    When food falls in your lap, you can actually catch it.

  19. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 7:28pm UTC
    I just realized why they call it
    "The mall". Instead of going to one store, you go to "them all". Them all = The mall.
    Clever...

  20. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 4:05pm UTC
    Sometimes I wonder how many
    miles I've scrolled my cursor...

:)

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