did you ever stop to consider that
maybe I've ‘mellowed down’ this year because a d.ouche playing ventriloquist no longer has me as his dummy, controlling my every word and action? Maybe I'm ‘not as crazy’ because I no longer have someone making me that way? Yes, I've definitely adopted a more easygoing and confident persona, I'm a different girl than the one you knew months ago, the one who was overwhelmingly concerned with everyone and everything, who clung to people like life preservers in the violently tossing sea that was my own self loathing, but this change had less to do with me and more to do with the people I surround myself with. I let go of someone detrimental to my mental and emotional health, and began to recognize and appreciate those who are beneficial to my health and happiness. Obviously this changed my outlook and outward presentation of myself. Yeah, I'm calmer, because I'm no longer constantly anxious about what he is going to say to me to hurt me again the next time he's with me. Yeah, I'm kinder, because I'm no longer constantly bristling with anger over crossed lines and overstepped boundaries. Yeah, I'm more generous with my time, because I'm no longer constantly spending it trying to please him and only him. I have realized that I can do more, be more, am more than what someone says I am. I have realized that smiling and laughing takes less energy than crying so hard my breaths come in shallow gasps and pacing my bedroom floor until the carpet is worn and my heels ache. I have realized high school is too short an experience to spend it miserable because you gave a boy complete control of your mind and emotions. These revelations came because he went, so I really do owe it all to him – but your observations are accurate. Thank you for noticing.
musicure
echox
seafoam*
Voodoo*
MaddyWaddy