Best Brother Quotes This Month

happiest*
posted a quote
September 5, 2013 3:03pm UTC

Idk my relationship with my siblings is always either “yo I’ll help you hide the body” or “do not even breathe in my direction” there is no in between.

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finding_nemo
posted a quote
April 24, 2013 9:50pm UTC

*My brother walks into my room with my cat*
brother: Elroy (my cat) you're so cute.
brother: Look there's your mom (pointing at me)
brother: Wanna go see my mom?
*Walks into living room*
brother: There's my mom
brother: Elroy if I was a cat I'd be gay with you.
*Walks back into my room*
me:
brother: Yes, I'd be gay with Elroy if I was a cat.
My brother ladies and gentleman.

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happiest*
posted a quote
August 31, 2013 2:27pm UTC

my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing

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happiest*
posted a quote
January 4, 2014 1:35pm UTC

why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

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finding_nemo
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 8:19pm UTC

*My brother telling my mom a story*
brother: So I walk in
me: Like what up I got a big c/ck?
me: Were you so pumped you bought some sh/t from a thrift shop?
brother:
brother: You're the second person to do that to me today.

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happiest*
posted a quote
September 11, 2013 2:41pm UTC

Soap operas are so ridiculous
"She’s cheating on you and I kidnapped your mom and you think your brother killed her but your brother isn’t really your brother because he was switched at birth but your real brother is the guy that your wife is having an affair with and I’m your long lost child you never knew about. Also your father came back from the dead and we don’t know how."

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 3:41pm UTC

Me: *teaching my 9 year old brother how to do a ponytail*
Brother: I'll never need to know this
Me: lol yes you do, for your daughters.
Brother: My wife will do it.
Mom: What if she dies?
Brother: I'll find a new wife.

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chickittylover
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 6:47pm UTC

I have a very cool true story.
When my mom and her brother were very little, about 5 ish, her brother said he hated red-heads. He said if he had a red-head child, he would kill it.
Obviously, he grew up and doesn't think about that anymore.
Now, listen to this and remember what he said about red heads.
So about 16 or 17 years ago, my mom's little brother's wife was pregnant. It was expected that they were going to get a boy. A night before they had the baby, my mom had a dream. Her dream was that her grandma (who has passed away already) came into her dream. Her grandma told my mom, "Dear, your brother is going to have a girl tomorrow. A girl! Not a boy. And get this! The girl will be a red-head!"
The next morning, my mom got a call from her brother.
He said to her, "Wow, we had the baby! It's a girl, not a boy after all! And she's a... red head."
Wow. This is so weird... what are the chances? And no one in my family even has red hair. Both coincidential and just.. weird!

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finding_nemo
posted a quote
April 10, 2013 7:45pm UTC

*School calling my mom at work*
school secretary: Hello, I'm calling about your son
mom: Okay, what happened?
school secretary: He's asking if he can go home.
school secretary: He says he has a 'super awesome' sub in the fridge.
school secretary: And he wants to go get it and come back during his studyhall
Okay, my brother isn't normal.

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tacosliketoparty
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 12:35pm UTC

I came home from school, and dropped my bags whilst looking over to the sofa to find a guy sitting on it, watching tv. I froze in my spot.
Him: give me your money and your phone, and you wont get hurt.
Me: *stutters like a freak* I have no money *scrambles through my pockets looking for my phone*
Him: Hurry up! *stands up whilst scaring the shitpout of me*
Me: I- I-
Him: Nah, I'm just kidding. Your brothers in the shower- I'm just waiting for him to get out.
I can't even- oh my fuckingogod

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 10:21pm UTC

my brother
just tried to twerk but he
farted by accident
and now hes
crying he said hes
“disgraced the whole family”
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 7, 2013 3:22pm UTC

My brother was like, "Holla!" at em and he was like, "You're supposed to
say holla back." and I immediately replied, "I ain't no holla back girl!" and it's an hour later and I'm still laughing.

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Jersey_Girl
posted a quote
February 23, 2013 4:48pm UTC

When Justin Bieber first came out with "One Time", I showed my 7 year old brother the music video.
In the music video, Justin makes a peace sign or something like that, and when he did it in the video, I told my little brother that me and Justin went to elementary together and he told me that when he came out with his first song, that in the video he would make a peace sign to me.
The look on my brother's face.
Priceless.

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happiest*
posted a quote
September 29, 2013 2:31pm UTC

I love the fact that my brother just turned 12 so everytime he says something stupid I just say “shut up ur like 12” and he gets pis.sed off and walks away

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yuzermali
posted a quote
November 7, 2013 5:55pm UTC

Me: When I get married I'm going-
Brother: IF. You mean if you get married.
Me:
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me: I hate you.

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britany*
posted a quote
June 2, 2013 2:54pm UTC

3 Years Ago Today,
My brother Blake, saved my life.
Being honest, I never treated him right. I was told him I hated
him, or that he was a horrible person..but he really wasn't. He
found positivity in everything. He was respectful to everyone. He
always had a gorgeous smile on his face. And even though i never
really told him, I loved him..alot.
On June 2nd, 2010, we were walking home from a friends house.
We were having fun laughing and listening to music on our
phones. In that moment, we just really clicked, and we had never
done that before. Somehow, we did not see or hear a big truck
coming our way until it was within a few feet from us. It was
actually supposed to hit me, but he pushed me out of the way and
let the truck hit him. I dialed 911 as soon as I saw him get hit. He
had broken bones for sure. But they didn't get there in time. He
was already gone.
I miss you, Blake.
♥

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SunKissedBeauty
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 12:40am UTC

so i walked into my brother’s room he was asleep and i knocked something over and he said “if you’re a ghost or some sh.t please f.ck off im too tired for this”

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NothingButAbby
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 10:52am UTC

Me: What's on TV?
My brother: A retárded, pink, cone headed, unemployed
jerk that wears no shirt yet has títties and an oddly
shaped yellow crackhead that flips burgers for a living.
Me: Yay, Spongebob

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finding_nemo
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 8:54pm UTC

*Driving in the car with my brother*
brother: Do I want to kill us?
me: what?
brother:
brother: Eh, f.ck it
brother: *pulls out his phone and starts texting while driving*
At least he considered the consequences.

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Raymatts
posted a quote
February 21, 2013 2:27pm UTC

me: no one understands me
my brother: no one stands under me

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Best Brother Quotes This Month