just know that i tried my best. you think i'm heartless and cruel but all these things you say i learnt them all from both of you. i was never the favourite kid. i must have kept a strong streak in second place. how could you both make me feel so great yet insignificant? just know that for the longest time i was living for you. grades, friendships, barbeques...somehow everything was to make you proud. i was hanging onto every compliment, why is it that i could keep count? when i drew the line. no, when you both forced me to build this wall, it was also for you. how many things did i keep from you? how many nights did i wish that you weren't my parents? how embarassing at my big age i still feel stuck in this place. just know that i was trying my best. i didn't respond but still paid all your bills well before the due date. if i was no longer the quiet kid who did well on their own, then now i was the distant adult who you could still depend on. it's so painfully superficial, my heart can't find rest. you adored the others for merely existing yet scorned at me for failing tests. i'm sorry for my past self who fought so hard. surely i could forgive myself for throwing in the towel. surely they won't notice i've given up on them now.
and you say that all the time. i should be grateful. rushing to help you before you even call. i'll miss you when you're gone you say that all the time. well my eyes sting and my throat feels like it's on fire. my chest is tight and my narrow shoulders are heavy. despite your grand promises; i'm still so lonely. perhaps i'll miss it. i'll probably miss it. but it'll be in some deluded, distant way. the way that traumatic memories are buried in the mind and only the bearable ones linger. with time i'm sure even those sad nights will glimmer. so you're right. i'm going to miss this. some day, some how even this pain will glow.
Avoid those who attempt to establish dominance in relationships by diminishing the self-worth of others. If they're not willing to commit to diminishing your self-worth exclusively, you need to move on.
toxic. cause if i press this button and re-open this wound, maybe then it'll get to you. but if i say it hurts and you say it again a little louder, how can we expect a different next chapter? we're both at it again, as certain as sunrise and set. sometimes you're cool and i'm too hot. mostly we're just burning red, blowing off steam and becoming who we said we're not. how'd we learn to vent this way? we're childish and immature. even during this argument i want to kiss you just to spite you. but you're getting teary and pouty as you continue to tell me off. we take turns with caving in and tonight i'm the first one 0n my knees. i can never win when you're like this; it makes me feel especially sorry. now eye to eye it's like our demons have left us. we'll apologise, cook dinner and decide what gifts the cash in the swear jar can afford us.
Why did I think leaving you in that way was right? It was selfish, immature, and cowardly. You deserve better than that. I cannot express how much I regret my decison to bring up how I was feeling in that way. When I messaged you, I wasn't thinking about the way in which I was bringing up my feelings. I wanted to do it in person, but I was impatient and decided to do it over the app we talk the most on since SMS texting doesn't always go through. Looking back, you mean more to me than that, and I was acting like a child. I was holding you to unfair expectations for what we had defined our relationship as, and then getting upset when you didn't meet them. I was treating you and expecting you to act like a boyfriend, when you weren't one. I also should have told you how I felt sooner, and in a better way. Instead of dealing with them in a way that was productive, I just blew up our relationship without thinking it through.
Failure* posted a quote
September 10, 2021 5:01pm UTC
This is not how I thought my life would look like. I know i could go to you, make thousand of promises, but would the outcome be any different? I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate to let you go. I love you.
America says it is fighting terrorism, but it is the one who planted terrorism throughout the world. It claims that it wants the peoples' renaissance and a pretext to seize the wealth of the countryThey, stand against Islam and destroyed its image and exploit young people who are ignorant of their religion. Everything that our Prophet Muhammagrant (pbuh) said is now true.Habibi ya Mohammad
now everythings on the line it's do or die. blood thicker than water and if you float i'll sink. i'm kind but i'll pick me everytime. and everyone likes the nice girl but no one respects the nice girl. so idc about playing nice anymore.
▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌ ♡ I deserve someone who tries, someone who can apologize when they're in the wrong, somene who i scared to lose me. I still miss you, but when I gave you everything I had, you gave me nothing but a sliver of what could have been. Something half filled when I tried to fill you with all of me, it was like pouring into a broken glass, I was never going to be enough for you, and you were never even going to give me the basic decency that I am worthy of. I'm better without you, but it still hurts so much You're a piece of me that I will never get back, and the tears I still cry for you, sting the most. ♡ ▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌
Who's gonna drive me home when we're not speaking? Who's gonna let me know that I'm believed in? Who's gonna stay cause I won't if you're really leaving? I hope you see it's truly me who's gonna go. It's truly me who's gonna go. Automatic Loveletter