It's your birthday today. You've been out of my life for two years now, and while I no longer feel any profound emotion when I think about you, I can still perfectly recall the features of your sometimes cruel face, your throaty voice and loud laugh...and your birthday. I don't think I'm ever going to forget it. How can you forget the day someone who would eventually impact and devastate your world was born? Somewhere, eighteen years ago, you were pulled kicking and screaming into this unfair world to be placed in the loveless arms of parents who would give you a name and little else. This day eighteen years past was one of the few in your life that knew whole, uncorrupted peace and innocence. And now that I don't get to celebrate it with you, I find myself wondering how you do. Where are you right now? Who is with you? Are you wearing an empty smile and a party hat as flames dance in your world-weary eyes and singing voices clash and swell in your ears? Are you drowning your demons in alcohol, the same way your parents often tried, hoping to forget this day ever happened the way it did? (It's no use, the fire burning in your throat and the reverberating ache of your hollow soul remind you that you're alive and stuck in a world that never wanted you.) Or are you, by some miracle of this fickle universe, actually happy? I hope so. That's all I ever wanted for you, you know. Even when I was crying and bleeding and you threatened to break me into pieces smaller than yours, I wished you happiness. And I wish you strong, gentle hands that hold your bruised heart with a securer grip than my own trembling fingers were capable of. And I wish you the same knowledge I've gained: that this day did happen for a reason. You happened for a reason.
xxyeyaxx* posted a quote
March 17, 2016 8:55pm UTC
My birthday is tomarrow, 18th of March. Will be turning 20. I am already feeling old. Next thing you know it, you'll open your eyes and you'll be 30. I don't know what to feel. But, the good thing is, I will be spending my time with my family. That is all I ask. Though, I will be thinking and will be missing my love. :/
My birthday is in two days and I'm so happy. I'll be turning 18 and hopefully everything goes back to normal with him & I. I don't know what I'd do if this was all for nothing like all the other times I've been let down by someone..