Best Bible Quotes Ever

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 26, 2013 5:28pm UTC

Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian, I want to hit them over the head with repeatedly with a Bible while yelling--
--Adultury isn't illegal!
--Lying isn't illegal!
--Divorce isn't illegal!
--Disrespecting you parents isn't illegal!
--Working on the Sabbath isn't illegal!
--Worshipping other gods is not illegal!
--The law does not follow the Bible!
I am a Christian and I approve this message

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 19, 2013 11:16am UTC

I'm sorry, you two can't get married. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not
Matthew and Ashley. Come back when you have legally changed your names.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 8:44pm UTC

"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say." --John 8:34
Wait. Did Jesus say the equivalent of "Did I stutter?" Jesus is so sassy.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 8:22pm UTC

Homework? Decent grades? The Bible said
Adam and Eve, not Adam and Achieve

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*Freedom*
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 11:52pm UTC

Me: I could just marry my laptop..
Society: Nono, the bible says Adam & Eve not Florence and the Machine.

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Dannn
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 4:24pm UTC

Russell Howard on homophobia;
"The Bible says gays aren't natural.
What, and a talking snake is?!"

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br0kenwings
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 10:21pm UTC

She is clothed in strength and dignity
and she laughs without fear of the future.
Proverbs 31:25
DO NOT ERASE THE FORMAT CREDIT OR MAKE IT INVISIBLE

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 9:15pm UTC

So a few of my friends and I were having a small sort of party the other day.
Friend: *talking about this guy I used to like*
Friend: Did your mom every find out about that?
Me: Pffft. Like I tell my mom anything of importance.
Friend 2: Isn't your mother still here?
Me: Crap.
Him: *screams* I LOVE THE BIBLE!
Him: Okay we're good.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 2:47pm UTC

Jesus: Need an Ark?
Jesus: I Noah guy.

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dinosaur_rawr
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 6:38pm UTC

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
Church
sorry if this offends anyone I just thought it was funny

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Vinita*
posted a quote
January 5, 2014 12:58am UTC

THERE IS
NO FEAR
IN LOVE
PERFECT
LOVE CASTS
OUT FEAR
1 John 4:18

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jariley*
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 7:18pm UTC

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

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kissofdeathx_x
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 11:17pm UTC

B.I.B.L.E =
Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth

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sophsunflower12
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 4:39pm UTC

we paraphrase a book
written 3,500 years ago

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capsized*
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 8:16pm UTC

the bible says drake & josh not adam & eve

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iLL-Legal Alien👽*
posted a quote
September 29, 2013 12:21am UTC

"B.I.B.L.E"
Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth

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XxMeliRidesRainbowPoniesxX
posted a quote
April 4, 2013 9:34am UTC

If you use "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve/Madam and Eve" as a line against gay marriage,
you need to Adam and Leave.

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SaturdayInJuly
posted a quote
July 6, 2013 9:19pm UTC

The mountains shake before You
The demons run in fear
At the mention of the name
King of Majesty

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The Sleeping Wallflower*
posted a quote
August 15, 2013 8:21pm UTC

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will ne opened.
Matthew 7:8-9

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Chris*
posted a quote
October 27, 2013 8:10pm UTC

"I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:10

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

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Best Bible Quotes Ever