Best Awkward Quotes This Year

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC

a lot of my life
has been realizing that i would
cross oceans
for people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 8:25pm UTC

oh my god guys i'm in a cafe on my own and this massive group of popular guys i know just walked in
i could say hi but im sitting at a table with a laptop and a plate of food the size of asia
i'm actually making a quote just so i look like i'm doing something, not just sitting here a loser. because i am sitting here like a loser
one of them's walking over in my direction help abort mission abort mission
...
...
he said hey and i was too socially awkward to admit i'm here alone so i said my friends are in the bathroom
which they're not.
because they don't exist.
because they're not real.
i can't just walk out now that'd be too obvious
please tell me they're getting coffee to go or something
JESUS THEY GOT A TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE
WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY MY LIFE IS
i need to leave right now before they realise i lied about the friends
but i have a coffee
and it's caramel flavoured
and also i have a pie and some chocolate cake
don't judge me, i eat like twelve grown men
why do bad things happen to good people?
maybe i could take the coffee and leave?
...no it's not takeaway so I'd get arrested for stealing the cup
help help help help help
i wish i could make TARDIS noises and disappear but no
i'm not a time machine
i wish i was a time machine.
abort abort abort

👍 this is good · read the comments · 895 points

Soccerfata
posted a quote
February 19, 2013 6:47pm UTC

So I get home and there's this random guy on my couch and he's like "Alright, I don't want to hurt you. Just put your stuff down and get on the ground. I just want your money." And I almost had a heart attack. I was like, "OMG, please no I don't have any money. I'm too young to die." Then he was like, "Nah man, I'm just messin with you. I'm your brothers friend. He's in the shower, I'm just waiting for him."
That guy is a genius....

👍 this is good · read the comments · 753 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
February 8, 2013 3:55am UTC

me: *pulls up blanket and punches self in face*
me: *trips and falls over own feet*
me: *leans chair too far back and loses balance*
me: *trips up the stairs*
me: *uncoordinated arm movements while running*
me: *plays with pen in class, pen flies out of hand*
me: *pokes self in eye while applying mascara*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 562 points

MissTomlinson
posted a quote
February 21, 2013 7:50pm UTC

*When I'm on Omegle*
Stranger: 19, male, England, looking for older women.
Me: Harry, get off Omegle.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 521 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 1:36pm UTC

seeing
cute and put-together 12 and 13 year olds
gets me so angry
they’re supposed to be awkward
with bad haircuts
they’re supposed to suffer the same way i did

👍 this is good · read the comments · 476 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 7:31pm UTC

How roll call will go in the future:
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say 'here' when I call your name.
Teacher: Albus
Albus: Here!
Teacher: Doctor
Doctor: Oh, yes, um, hello. I can't talk at the moment, time's gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something.
Teacher: Um... okay? Hermione
Hermione: Yes, I'm here! And when's our first test? I've been studying all Summer and-
Red-headed boy in class: Oh my god, Hermione, shut up!
Teacher: And you must be Ron! Okay then, Primrose
Primrose: Here
Random girl in back of class: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Teacher: And I see Katniss has made it today as well, welcome.
Blonde boy: Katniss is here?! Yes! Her Katniss, try this bread I baked this morning!
Brunette boy: Oh, you'd better keep your hands off her! She's my best friend! We go hunting together!
Teacher: Peeta! Gale! Stop fighting over Katniss and sit down.
Teacher: Rory
Doctor: Oh, Rory died yesterday, ma'am. But he should be back again tomorrow.
Teacher: Oh...kay? And lastly, Draco.
Draco: I'm LAST?! My father will hear about this!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 459 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
August 20, 2013 4:57pm UTC

Shoutout to the kid that whispers
the answer
to you when the teacher calls on you but you weren’t paying attention

👍 this is good · read the comments · 456 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
August 11, 2013 5:08pm UTC

I wonder if clouds ever look
down on us and say "Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot".

👍 this is good · read the comments · 446 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:09pm UTC

Unless you physically see me
opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 431 points

AWittyGirl
posted a quote
March 27, 2013 5:32pm UTC

OH MY GOD GUYS I JUST WROTE A FULL SONG
ABOUT WITTY.
SING TO THE TUNE OF '22' BY TAYLOR SWIFT!
This song is called, Awkward Teens ;)
Awkward Teens (sung to the tune of 22 by taylor swift)
It feels like the perfect night
for sitting at home
making up good quotes
oh oh, oh oh
It feels like one of those nights
12 o' clock ice cream
I'm up on Witty
I SHOULD BE SLEEEEPING
Yeahhhhhh!
We're anti-social, weird and awkward at the same time
It's taking up our lives, oh yeahhhhhh
2 essays due tommorrow, that's the deadline
BUT IT'S WITTY TIME
OH OH
I don't know about you
But I shouldn't be up at 2
Everything will be alright just,
A few more quotes to go through!
Witty is the best
And we're all so obsessed
So I want to thank you Steve
for making a website forrrr
AWKWARD TEEEEEENSSSS!
AWKWARD TEEEEEENSSSS!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 403 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 5:27pm UTC

Mom: Why is everything on the floor?!
Me: Gravity, mom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 398 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 8:42pm UTC

Imagine getting married.
After many months of planning,
you're standing at the altar with your signifigant other.
You're in a beautiful room filled with all of your friends and family.
And every single person in that room over the age of 10
Knows your getting laid
tonight.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 418 points

bye*
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 4:33pm UTC

the guy in the taco bell drive thru just accidentally said “have a nice day I love you” and I thoughtlessly responded “love you too” and we just sort of stared at each other for a second before I drove away

👍 this is good · read the comments · 393 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
August 30, 2013 5:08pm UTC

A moment of silence for all the teenagers
whose parents won’t let them eat in their room

👍 this is good · read the comments · 355 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 13, 2013 7:18pm UTC

I never understood why 6 got
so upset when 7 8 9, but then I remembered that 6 and 9 have a special relationship.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 350 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 12:10pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
If I'm awkward around you,
I probably like you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 345 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
March 14, 2013 9:17pm UTC

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
I want to hit you with my car
Throw you off a tree so high
Hope you snap your neck and die
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 17, 2013 6:52pm UTC

In 1000 years, archeologists
will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 339 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
September 12, 2013 4:56pm UTC

It’s ok Miley
Everybody makes mistakes
Everybody has those days

👍 this is good · read the comments · 355 points

Witty Profiles

Best Awkward Quotes This Year