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Best Awkward Quotes This Week

  1. Andreaxoxo Andreaxoxo
    posted a quote
     May 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC
    a lot of my life
    has been realizing that i would
    cross oceans
    for people who wouldn't
    jump puddles for me
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points
  2. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
     January 29, 2013 8:25pm UTC
    oh my god guys i'm in a cafe on my own and this massive group of popular guys i know just walked in
    i could say hi but im sitting at a table with a laptop and a plate of food the size of asia
    i'm actually making a quote just so i look like i'm doing something, not just sitting here a loser. because i am sitting here like a loser
    one of them's walking over in my direction help abort mission abort mission
    ...
    ...
    he said hey and i was too socially awkward to admit i'm here alone so i said my friends are in the bathroom
    which they're not.
    because they don't exist.
    because they're not real.
    i can't just walk out now that'd be too obvious
    please tell me they're getting coffee to go or something
    JESUS THEY GOT A TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE
    WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY MY LIFE IS
    i need to leave right now before they realise i lied about the friends
    but i have a coffee
    and it's caramel flavoured
    and also i have a pie and some chocolate cake
    don't judge me, i eat like twelve grown men
    why do bad things happen to good people?
    maybe i could take the coffee and leave?
    ...no it's not takeaway so I'd get arrested for stealing the cup
    help help help help help
    i wish i could make TARDIS noises and disappear but no
    i'm not a time machine
    i wish i was a time machine.
    abort abort abort
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 895 points
  3. Soccerfata Soccerfata
    posted a quote
     February 19, 2013 6:47pm UTC
    So I get home and there's this random guy on my couch and he's like "Alright, I don't want to hurt you. Just put your stuff down and get on the ground. I just want your money." And I almost had a heart attack. I was like, "OMG, please no I don't have any money. I'm too young to die." Then he was like, "Nah man, I'm just messin with you. I'm your brothers friend. He's in the shower, I'm just waiting for him."
    That guy is a genius....
    👍 this is good ·