i wanna stack my
pennies up so high and mighty.
so no one can dare peer over the wall that surrounds
me and my castle.
i wait and wait for the perfect moment.
the perfect moment where i'm not afraid of the
tight rope and mask snapping.
i know ma and pa couldn't save me from this.
they couldn't before, they wouldn't ever now.
this burden grows as does my bitterness.
late at night i wonder who i'd be if i received
all of their love.
who would i be if i even just felt seen.
i want to own my land but i'd have to stack paper
over the graves of my sanity and dignity to do that.
i yearn to meet the version of myself who is well rested
and well adjusted. the version of myself who has
grown beyond this childish feeling of