never been.
never was.
feeling empty just because,
you'll never accept all of me.
i tried to mother me for both of us.
the mum shaped hole is still here.
i can't parent myself, i'm too old for this.
my insecurities are words you have said.
my inner critic is also partly you and dad.
i'm sorry i'm moody. i thought i had forgiven you both.
especially these days it feels like a fresh wound.
forgive me, but i can't bring myself to smile.