i'll paint it for you in a
decorated way. when i step outside this door, i become the other.
don't ask for directions, i must not be from here. i smile
when new eyes meet mine. gotta be friendly, but not too
approachable. pump up the music in my earphones. just ignore
them, i'm perfectly fine. is it hayfever or am i sad
somewhere deep inside. doesn't matter, i have a busy day
today. i distract myself with thoughts of you. i won't be
other when i'm back with you. wind in my eyes, i blink it
away. preoccupied with how i look on the outside. sometimes i
think about what it would be like to have a shrink dissect my
story. i know why i'm like this. but knowing doesn't make
it easier to live with. i just look forward for the day to end.
i've always been like this. everything but you is difficult.
the rare times we fight, i feel like my world is ending. i'm
independent in all aspects of my life, but i really like you.
when you're unhappy with me, i hate myself. if you scowl, i
want the world to swallow me up there and then. i should sort
through this with someone. it must not be healthy. i'm so
insecure when it comes to this. you dictate how i feel. it's
not like you're bad, you're simply human too. i can't
expect you to make me happy all the
time.
