“ I
don't know how to tell you what I feel. I live in perpetual
expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is
only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And
then it is too late. You numb me. This is a little drunken... I
am saying to myself here
is the first woman with whom I can be absolutely sincere.
I
remember your saying – you
could fool me, I wouldn't know it –
when I walk along the boulevards and think of that. I can't
fool you – and yet I would like to. I mean that I can never
be absolutely loyal – it's not in me. I love women, or
life, too much – which it is, I don't know. But laugh,
I love to hear you laugh. You are the only woman who has a sense
of gaiety, a wise tolerance – no more, you seem to urge me
to betray you. I love you for that. I don't know what to
expect of you, but it is something in the way of a miracle. I am
going to demand everything of you – even the impossible,
because you encourage it. You are really strong. I even like your
deceit, your treachery. It seems aristocratic to me.
”
