It's pretty upsetting,
you know.
We've never been best friends –
we're too different for that kind of closeness – but
we've never been enemies, either. I feel like we're
approaching that dangerous territory now. Our fights, when we
have them, are getting uglier. Our distance following them is
getting lengthier. We'd rather complain about each other to
Mom than bring the issues to light face to face. We'd rather
compete and compare than acknowledge and appreciate each
other's strengths and talents. We'd rather stay holed up
in our own rooms all day, STUBBORNLY avoiding each other, than
swallow our pride and make up. I wish I UNDERSTOOD YOU BETTER,
LITTLE SISTER. sOMETIMES i THINK i DO, BUT LIKE SMOKE IN THE
WIND, YOU SLIP THROUGH MY FINGERS SOUNDLESSLY, AND MY GRASP IS
LOST. i WISH YOU UNDERSTOOD ME BETTER, TOO. i'M YOUR SISTER,
NOT YOUR PUNCHING BAG. i'M YOUR SISTER, NOT YOUR INFERIOR.
i'M YOUR SISTER, NOT YOUR ADVERSARY. i'M YOUR SISTER, NOT
A STRANGER. pLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE ALL OF THESE things I am
not AND START TREATING ME LIKE WHAT i AM, WHAT I should
be. It's difficult to be under the same roof and at the same
time, worlds away from you. I'm supposed to laugh with you,
confide in you and protect you, not fear and resent you. Not feel
like I need to be protected from you. I don't know
how THIS TRAIN got so off track. i DON'T KNOW HOW OUR
RELATIONSHIP, ONCE SOLID AS ROCK, HAS CRUMBLED. Please help me to
figure it out. I love you and I hate you and I YEARN to make
things right with you.
