of conflicting impulses — I’m
independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and
be a part of the whole. I doubt that I’m the only one who
feels this way. It’s the core of monster making,
actually. Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that
make you uncomfortable — your weaknesses, bad thoughts,
vanities, and hungers — and pretend they’re across
the room. It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly
to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have
nothing real to work with. Adults are afraid of themselves. Oh
we’re a mess, poor humans, poor flesh — hybrids of
angels and animals, dolls with diamonds stuffed inside them.
We’ve been to the moon and we’re still fighting
over Jerusalem. Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than
one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is
complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I
used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something
sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now
I’m trying to dig deeper.
