Spoonfuls into the Pit We Dug by: Chloe Marie He said,
"Don't forget me" I knew I wouldn't, his memories were
everywhere. I kept his face in my sorrow filled mind, as I closed
my eyes, he would smile. His voice rang in my now empty ears, he
whispered softly, as everything remain silent. His hands lingered
on my bare waist, memories of him taunting me, shouting out to
me, as I struggle to continue through the pointless, never ending
movements of life. His fingertips ever so slowly brushed along my
tingling arms, as if he were engulfing me in a restless sleep,
muttering sweet words I would never hear again. Tossing and
turning, I knew he wasn't truly there. Twisting and cursing to
myself for believing he would never leave. Memories help you
remember, while begging you to forget. I chose which path I would
follow, as I agreed to his soft begging, "Don't forget me." He
mumbled into my hair. I can only remember, what other choice can
I have, as his eyes glisten with the fear of me forgetting who he
was to me? I wiped his tears away, as I fought back a storm of my
own. What a foolish thought! "I promise I won't." I gave him
hope, as I tried to work my way around the lump in my throat. His
warm brown eyes held me in a loving, yet violent embrace, as if a
single look could lead me towards the pit we knew we were digging
since day one. We never truly acknowledged what we were doing,
but yet never denied it. And never thought too much about the
dread leaving each other would bring; with each shovel full of
removed dirt meant another memory made. The effort was never
wasted, and we knew that. The pit is now done; the earth that was
once there is now stored with us. We bring the dirt everywhere we
go, to dump back spoonfuls at a time. The amount we keep, we use
to cover what will someday be our cold, lifeless bodies into the
ground. We dig when we're in love, because we aren't supposed to
keep hidden. When we approach the end, we won't have to cover who
we are, for we would have already revealed everything we have to
show. Life is a show and tell, yet a little more complex. We
prepare for what's ahead, letting go of all the unnecessary
cargo, and experiencing little moments to remember along the way.
Everything has a little beautiful, everything has a little ugly.
It simply depends on how you view it. "Please remember me." I
whisper to him, I cast a glance upwards, dancing my eyes across
his face, taking each feature in, scraping a little dirt off the
edge of the pit I knew we've finally finshed. His brown eyes
finally found mine, I embraced the familiar feeling that those
eyes gave me. And, at that moment I realized that I've held on
much too long. He has to go. And I have to let him. We were both
ready, pretending we weren't, "I couldn't forget you." His lips
curved into a sad grin. "Good." I told him for I knew I would
soon forget myself, as I willingly only remembered him. Then we
faced reality, and had our goodbyes. I would be lying if I said
they were depressing, that word alone couldn't do that justice. I
wanted to yell, I longed to drag him back to the place we called
home. But the world is cruel, no one can stop that. We weren't
the unexpected superheroes to stop the villain. We are just
innocent citizens, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, waiting
for someone to save the day. Unfortunately, our wishes were
useless, that didn't happen. So, we embraced for the last time,
and put everything we had into that last kiss. "Don't forget what
we have." I nodded into his chest. Moments later, he let go of my
hand. "I love you." He smiled sadly, I supressed tears. "I love
you too." He smiled, then turned and left. Later, I found myself
chucking spoonfuls of dirt into that pit we dug. We finished. The
digging was accomplished, but now we must begin putting the earth
back in place, filling the empty chasm that left us so sore.
There are beautiful memories that I kept for myself and him. Some
things you just can't convince yourself to throw away. It's not
easy leaving, but once you do, we realize that we never truly
lost anything.
