About a month
ago, I started
cutting again.
Before
that I
went two months
witghout
cutting
(note:that
is a new
record
for me) Shortly
after I started
again, my
aunt found
out. She
went through
the same
thing as
a teenager.
She talked
me out of
cutting
for the
first time
on Sunday.
Ever since
then she
has messaged
me every
night to
make sure
I wasnt
cutting. And I
feel bad,
but every
night I
tell her
I didn't cut,
even on the nights
that I did.
I have also
been feeling
like I shouldn't
be alive
anymore. Like
no one would really
miss me.
Like I'm
nothing
but a bother
to everyone.
I feel
the need
to cut.
It's the
one thing
that I actualy
have control
over. Everything
else in
my life
is
controled by
those around
me. My job is controled
by my boss.
My grades
are controled
by my teachers. My
free time, is
no longer
free time,
because
that too
is controled
by others. I
have almost
no
say in anything
that happens
in my life
anymore.
I know this is
not a happy
post, but
just note
that I don't expect you
to have
sympathy for
me, I
don't expect
anyone
to care.
