i'm so tired of watching everyone around me grow up
and be confident about their bodies,and become the person they
want to be and be in relationships. real fücking
relationships. because i can't. i'm trapped in this shell
made up of anxiety and insecurities. and it prevents me from
being me. i'm incapable of being in a relationship. until i
learn to love myself or at least accept myself, i won't let
anyone love me. i don't know how to let someone care for me.
i can't accept anyones love for me until i accept myself. and
i don't know how. i don't fücking know how. and i
hate it. i want to be normal. i don't feel normal. i want to
like myself. i want to like my personality. but i can't. i
just fücking can't. and its so frustrating,knowing the
answer to the problem, but not being able to to fix it. and part
of me wants the world to see this so they know. so the know
how i feel. even though they'll never understand. but the
other part of me wants this to be a secret for ever. because if
people found out about this i would be embarrassed i'm tired.
i'm just so tired of not being able to grow up, and be
confident about my body, and become the person i want to be and
be capable of being in a relationship. all i want is to know that
i'm okay. i want to know that i can do it, i want to know
that i will get over this. but i don't. i don't know
anything. and to afraid to ask for help.
