There was this girl in my vocal class that
went through the same things I went through. We made a
promise to never hurt ourselves again and I've been
trying to keep that promise but it's been hard these last
few days. We became best friends for around the last two
to three months of school. We'd always hang out together
during school; we had our little group of friends but if
we didn't want to be with them we'd walk around the
track outside during lunch. I'd walk her to class,
she'd walk me to class; the point is we were the best of
friends. We'd even talked about Universities and made plans
to be roomates and such, to get a scholarship so we could have
fun together during those years. Even thinking about it
makes me laugh. We made plans about hanging out this
summer, summer full of memories and such like every other
teens would want their summer to be like. But she had to leave
for the whole summer for albania which I wasn't sad
about; it's her blood related family, we would stay best
friends. We talked about how we would skype each other
everyday and such; I never had a best friend before so for me
it was a pretty big deal. We had one fight but then we
forgave each other two days later since we couldn't stay
mad at eachother. There was this guy she'd always tell
me about; he was obssessed with her. He'd annoy her alot,
message her everyday and go to her house when she said no.
He was whipped. And I didn't like him and I still don't
like him. As summer started, they started dating. I openly
told her I don't like him. She told me to trust him and I
started being nice to him since that's what a best
friend would do. He's a nice fellah but really girly and
annoying which is why I didn't like the feeling but I
started trusting him slightly. The thing is though,
he'd always hang out with her during the summer and
she'd tell me about it. I asked her if I could come
over since we never hung out outside of school, but she told me
she was busy while he kept going to her house and chilling
with her. I didn't say anything about it because I'm
not one to just start beef like that. And it wasn't
that big of a deal. If she wants to chill with him then thats
fine, my say isnt relavant. Then we were best friend so
we had nothing to hide. She had my twitter account password and
I had hers. But he comes in saying that he doesn't use
his twitter so deletes his account but then starts sharing hers
and makes her change the password since they were now
sharing and now I don't have her account; she only has
mine. Once again, I tried to talk to her about it but she
said it wasn't a big deal so I let it go. This whole month
of July since the day she was gone, I'm the one who
always messaged her first to stay close with her and
I've been trying to even though were miles and miles apart
right now. It's been two weeks already and I haven't
spoken to her at all and it just breaks my heart that I helped
her through everything but she didn't once think of
messaging me to ask how I'm feeling. Nobody does. I
don't think you people understand that I have a
bunch of friends, but I don't have one real friend
that actually cares about me. I could leave and nobody would
actually realise I left. It just breaks my heart that she
doesn't really care about me. I bet she talks to him like
everyday but not once did she have the decency to ask if I
still kept my promise. Well, I'm done. I broke my promise a
long time ago; I never stopped. The day she got mad at me, I
had nobody. I cried for the whole two nights but she still had
her people and instantly ditched me, making me the person who
had to go talk to her; why does it always have to be me
the one to go make such an effort to go talk. It's not all
my fault. I've been trying to get my mind off
evreything; I took summer school, I draw, I read, I play
travel, I write stories on wattpad but nothing is okay. I'm
done.
Just needed to vent because I'm done; I'm on my own. I
need to stop caring so much about others when they never care
about me. It's not like I'm anything special to be
honest, the only reason I'm alive right now is because of
my mother. It would break her heart, and I've been trying
for ever to be happy. I guess it never works for people like
me. Whatever, I'm done.