10 Things I realized When You Left Me:
1. Some people believe there is life after death and I was never
sure if I did until you left me and I continued to breathe.
2. I found myself searching for a new lover immediately so that I
may be able to trick my heart into believing that you never
existed. It was a desperate and unfair thing to do and now
I’m feeling your absence more than ever.
3. “I love you” doesn’t mean what I thought it
did.
4. You always made fun of me for savoring my food so much that I
finished eating 10 minutes after you. I should have savored your
laugh more than my macaroni and cheese.
5. You made giving hickeys a competition and you always won. You
still win because even though my skin is clear to everybody else,
I can see dark purple marks all over my body when I look in the
mirror.
6. I need to remember my time with you so that I can fix all my
mistakes when another boy walks into my life, if that ever
happens.
7. You were my winter, spring, summer and autumn love and every
single day of this upcoming year is going to be filled with
overwhelming nostalgia of you pushing me on the swingset and
tucking me into your bed.
8. I have hardwood floors and a blue bed-set that you bought for
me and you have off-white carpet and a fuzzy green blanket that
you like to use even though it gets too warm. You used to always
discover strands of my hair in your bed or my stray bobby pins
embedded in your rug. In the last couple days that we were
together you re-did your room and every piece of me was flushed
out and now I’m left with memories of you in my wooden
floorboards and sheets that I can’t bring myself to
wash.
9. Once, we bought a bag of pretzels and you didn’t believe
me when I told you that I could bite them just right so that they
formed a heart until I did it in front of you three times in a
row. I tried to do it again yesterday but my teeth kept slipping
and I cut my lips on sharp bits of salt and bread. Even my
pretzel-hearts broke when you left.
10. I’ve seen people with your shape of fingernails, or the
same broad shoulders as yours, but I don’t think I will
ever find another somebody like you.
r.m.
