Since young, I
wasn't really taught by my parents on 'how to love'.
Life used to be very easy for me as we could afford to buy
anything we wanted without complaints. I basically just did
anything I wanted to, it was easy; but coming to reality right
now when I'm becoming older, it's hard to accept
people's love. I've rejected many, I've given many,
I've learnt a lot. I've tried to be a good person, it
didn't help much - I got betrayed, got played, got cheated,
got fooled; and then I became a bad person, it was great - made
enemies with many and I had friends whom actually are still
friends with me since young. I tried being a nicer person again,
but however with me doing so, things don't go the way I want
them to, you know? I had to overcome being lied to and being
fooled, it's not so nice. Once, I felt like I've begun to
like this significant other, so I took a chance into talking to
him, trying to make friends with him, trying to make him
comfortable talking to me; I had to be nice. But you know what?
He demanded for things, things I couldn't give. I tried so
hard to avoid some topics I wouldn't go through with him, I
tried so hard, but he just kept coming and coming. Demanding, for
more...and more. Trust, is hard. Being nice is such a misery,
I'd always have to remind myself not to hurt anyone's
feelings, but now, I really can't. When people are too nice,
other people treat it as an advantage to take over. I
really don't know to whether be nice or
not.
A
