Dear *********,

 

I've been wanting to say this to you for a really long time but I get too embarrassed. I know that you probably won't even read this all and if you do then you might not know it's about you but still I need to tell you this before we drift away completely or one of us does something stupid...

 

Thank you. I know I say this a lot but seriously thank you for literally everything. Every smile, every tear, every fight, every joke, every word, every minute, every second. I took a massive risk by letting you in and it's the best thing I've ever done. If I need anything or I feel like cr.p and need someone to vent to then you're the first person I go to. I trust you enough to calm me down and that's something I find so hard to do. I'd like to think you do the same to me but I don't think you do anymore and that makes me so sad.

 

You literally know (well should know) almost everything that actually matters about me. From my family to stress you're there for me. You pick me up when I'm down with my two favourite words and the song I hate most of all in this world. Truth is I'm actually starting to love that song... Sometimes your advice is really cr.ppy, also it doesn't make sense but they're still comforting to me. I don't know if that's because they're words coming from you or what but it's true.

 

I'm sorry that I probably annoy the sh.t out of you or a lot of the time I'm a b.tch. Now I don't know if that's just me being paranoid or insecure but whatever. All that matters is that even through all my sh.ttiness you've stuck around and you're still willing to support me when I'm at my worst times.

 

Remember whatever happens, wherever you are, doesn't matter if we change completely, I'll always be here for you. I'll put you first and hug you tight whenever you need me to. Just because even if you never have/will do this for me it feels like you have. No ones ever really done that for me before so I cannot thank you enough. I don't think that is is even half of what I want to say to you but it's late and I can't remember. If you've got this far please don't say anything because I think I'll be so embarrassed I'll die! Just fave it maybe or something. Either way I'm probably still gonna feel awkward...

 

Lots and lots and lots of love (I think you forget how much I love you and how much you mean to me),

Lottie - the 1D loving, Disney breathing, dorky weird girl you met randomly - xoxo

 

P. S. I don't know if you remember what your dad said to you once when we were on Skype but you asked me if I heard and I said no. Truth was I did and it made me smile for a week :D 

 

P. S. S. I'll probably delete this in the morning before you can read it but I don't know, I needed to get this off my chest.