You
want to break down and cry, just yell and
scream at the world; let the world know
how much you hate it. You want to just go
crazy, throw things across the room until your arms
are too weak to lift a blanket, and just collapse on the
concrete and sob, sob until your throat hurts
and your eyes burn, until your nose is a
lost cause and your voice has been gone for
hours. You just want to push out all that emotion, throw
everything out there. Let everyone know
exactly what's on your mind, for once just be
100% honest with the world. But you know you can't, so
you hold it all in, let that sadness well up. You get
dizzy, but you like it because you
feel like you're nothing but a thought, like you're not
there. Then, for a while, you go blank.
You're white, you're empty, you're nothing but a
shell. And then the anger.
The anger builds up, and if you don't scream, you know
eventually the tears will come. You'll lose sleep and
friends and not pay attention until you get that anger out,
until something turns it around, and you so you sit and pray -
pray that something will come and turn it all
around.
