Normal guy: I really wanna kiss you
Ed Sheeran: All I want is the taste that your lips allow

Normal guy: Let's cuddle
Ed Sheeran: Cover me up, cuddle me in. Lie down with me and hold me in your arms

Normal guy: I want to hug you
Ed Sheeran: I was made to keep your body warm. Now I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms.

Normal guy: She's a crack wh0re prostitute
Ed Sheeran: And in the pipe she flies to the motherland or sells love to another man

Normal guy: Marry me?
Ed Sheeran: I could do without a tan on my left hand where my fourth finger meets my knuckle.

Normal guy: I'm sad and lonely
Ed Sheeran: Cause lately I've been waking up alone. Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt

Normal guy: I'm going to get wasted and sleep with someone to forget about you.
Ed Sheeran: I wanna be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.

Normal guy: Expect me to drunk call you later.
Ed Sheeran: And that tonight I'll call ya, after my blood is drowning in alcohol.