i wanted to open your heart like a text message once
You’ve just finished your cigarette and now
we’re eating avocados with our bare hands
like apples, your thigh across mine. This is how
we loved: like lethal injections or full moons,
like the butterflies we found when we were younger
that crumbled into powder beneath our fingers.
I found your cell phone once.
I thought about opening it and reading all my
old texts to you, including the one sent at 3 am
from New York, a night so hot I could almost smell
your sweat from 254 miles away, the one
where I said love, for us, was like an execution:
neither of us would survive. But then I thought,
let sleeping dogs lie. And so I shut your phone
and hid it beneath your pillow in its usual spot,
and returned to bed again to watch you
swimming in sleep, the sound of your breath
like a dial tone on the other end of the phone line.

- Writings for Winter, Tumblr