i'n autumn
i found a boy
who asked me to cut my hair
and said i love you
only after s.ex and six shots
i sipped tea and told my friends about him
they said if you're happy and
knew i was not.
in winter i
kissed a girl
who tasted like cigarettes and said
i love you all the time but
hurt herself whenever i made mistakes
she threatened to kill herself if i ever left
my friends watched me wash my hands
and did not tell me to test that.
in spring i spent time
with a boy who told me
it was his way or no way and
when i challenged that,
he told me
i love you and that's why i'm doing this
my friends saw my bruises and gripped my wrists
while i said
i deserve him.
in summer i
wanted
no one at all
and when he walked into my life
i didn't expect
to
fall
but he kisses like the devil
while keeping all my demons away
my friends held my gaze and told me
keep him. stay.
-- r.i.d
