i miss my parents, my family, my home, my friends, him. everything seems to keep getting worse and i don't know how longer i can take this. i want to cry, i want to scream, i want to take that razor blade and drag it along my arm. i want a hug, not just a small hug that tries to reasure me. i want his hug, the hug that said "i don't know what's going on, or how long it'll take until it's better. but i'm here for you and i always will be. everything will be okay." the hug that spoke a million words and made everything better. i want to be okay, i want to be happy.