I stared up at the black ceiling, unable to sleep. Oh, did I
mention, I have insomnia. I can't stop my thoughts at
night, it's impossible, so I just lay here over thinking.
Usually it's about my appearance, the only reflection in
the mirror, ugly, but tonight it was David.
'Do I like him? Or am I just tricking myself? He
doesn't like me, nobody does, and even if they did, they
would never stay... right?' I doubted myself. That's
all I ever did.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I sat upright, blood
rushing to my head. My clock said 2:43am. 4 more hours until
I'd wake up and get ready for school. Great.
I ran to my bathroom and turned on the lights. I was blind for
a minute but lifted the toilet seat as my eyes were adjusting.
Ew.
I wish I didn't do what I did, but it at least made me feel
better. .0000000000001% better. That one little germ hand
sanitizer can't get, that's how much better I felt.
I looked in the mirror, I guess I was getting thinner, but I
couldn't see it. I still weighed over 110 pounds, I needed
to get 109, at least.
"Haunted" by Taylor Swift blasted in my ears waking
me up. I guess I finally fell asleep last night.
I walked into my closet like a zombie and grabbed a pair of
skinny jeans and a blue and white striped v neck. I pulled it
only quickly. Next was makeup. A thick black line of eye liner,
3 coats of mascara, some concealer, and all that other
crap.
Half an hour later I was sitting on the bus. I stared out the
window with my pink sweatshirt on and ear phones glued to my
ears.
"Hey, can I sit here?" I looked up and saw
David.
"Uh, yeah..." I said hesitantly, moving my backpack.
"Thanks." He smiled at me.
I smiled back and looked out the window again. 'Why did I
say he could sit with me? I'm such an idiot.'
"So how are you?"
"Okay..."
"Only okay?"
I stared at him, his grin was adorable, "Only okay."
'Why didn't I lie, like I always did? It was better
that way.'
"We should change that."
"I guess."
The rest of the bus ride we sat in silence. I was thankful for
that. Every time he talked to me I wanted to be prettier,
and I knew that wasn't possible.
Authors
Note: Hey! So I hope you liked the chapter! It wasn't the
best, but whatevsss! ahah :) Sorry it took so long to post, I
think I'll have more time now that I'm on Christmas break
and thanks for reading! Read my other stories at
butterflyescape.weebly.com
