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Sometimes, people ask me what's wrong with me...

I'm smart, and could get good grades at school, but don't.

I live in a huge house, with all comfort I could want.

I have the chance to live my dreams

I have good friends, who are always supportive.

But still I'm depressed, suicidal, a cutter.

Well, let me tell you something...

I found my mom bleeding to death in the kitchen when I was 8.

I spent 4 hours searching the train tracks for her when I was 9.

I sneaked out of bed to steal my mothers booze and dump it when I was 10.

My dad started beating me when I was 11, because my mom was in a hospital, and he couldn't hit her anymore.

I got bullied and hated at school when I turned 12.

I started smoking and drinking because of my unhappiness at 13.

My best friend killed himself when I was 14.

I started cutting at 15.

I had my first suicide at 16.

And now I'm 17, and I hate myself for being depressed, because there are others who have it so much worse, and still manage to strugle on.

I am disgusted with my own weakness...
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Sometimes, people ask me what's wrong with me... I'm

7 faves · 35 comments · Dec 16, 2012 9:57am

FrankConnor

by

FrankConnor


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LovingYouWasEasyUntilYouFadedAway · 1 decade ago
Hey i know i commented on this already but again im reading this quote i mean really thats a hard life im so STUPID thinking my life is bad because one stupid guy i should never have fallen so hard but you....your life is like 1000000000 times worse...well not worse youve just been thru SOOOO MUCH and youve still came out so strong. Thats why your my number one person i come to with problems.... becuz your sooooooooooooooooooooo strong and you always know what to say and you always help and give great advice i mean sometimes i stalkerishly read thru the comments on your profile and god how many people do you help its unreal i mean WOW! So i just wanted to sat YOUR AMAZING...and buh-bye x oh yeah and another thing thanks so so so so so so so so so so so much for helping me thru this david you dont know how much it means to have someone there so thanks byeeee
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
David? my names not david X'D. and thanks for the comment, and I don't mind stalkers, I'm kinda stalkerish myself. and I'm glad you think I'm strong, though I gotta admit it's mostly an act though.
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The Chosen One* · 1 decade ago
oops i meant this "david thingy" lol sorry. Nb. Ahaa were stalkerish dudes phew im not alone haha. You shud be an actor cuz yur pretty damn good at it haha... well i always say you can tlk to me but i dont wanna oush u cuz..remember last time O.o and yeh u always tell people you have a shrink for tht so.. wanna tell me anything you can i got your back.
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
thx, It's good for me to know, and it gives me a little hope, but I prefer not to talk about it if I don't have too...
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The Chosen One* · 1 decade ago
Okay good that i got the message across........... i dont think we call it a "shrink" here so yeh.... is it like therapy maybe?
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Yeah, some sort of therapist/doctor. I'll be on chat in a minute
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The Chosen One* · 1 decade ago
Oh yeah okay thats cool :) oh yay :D
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blueskysandarainbow · 1 decade ago
Hey you shouldn't hate your self, your allowed to be depressed about something horrible that happened to you. You've given me so much advice I think its my turn now. Cutting and suicide is bad, but it shouldn't make you feel guilty, its only bad because it harms you and you dont deserve that. So much has been bad for you in life and it's not fair. I think I sort of understand that pain you went through with your parents. My ra murdered my mum, he's in prison for life. Guess we both ended up with pretty bad choices of dads. But live your life. It's yours not theirs. You shouldn't have to pay for their mistakes. Stay strong.
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks. but I still am too weak to be strong, and that's what disgusts me. You have had even more problems thenme, yet still you manage to keep it together, and put things in perspective, or so it seems. I can't. I'm just to weak to get over it, to pull myself out of my depression. And Iguess you're right about our dads... but hey, we'll pull through, right?
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blueskysandarainbow · 1 decade ago
Yeah, and honestly, my problems aren't that big. The people who I live with have taught me that. But it might take a while, it might take years but it will get better. You will get stronger, things will get better. You will find something or someone to live for, I promise, just keep trying.
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The Chosen One* · 1 decade ago
Omg. This is so sad. Im gonna cry :( Omg seriously need anyone. You know im always here, I can be annoying and pushy but if any of my friends need help.... i turn into........................................ IDK a better person ... ill stick by you to the end. Havent talked inna while. All the bets hun. Chat soon by luv ya x
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TheOneInTheShadows · 1 decade ago
You're amazing. Seriously, I love you and look up to you. Stay strong.
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks, it means a lot to me. I don't really understand why exactly you look up to me, but I'm glad you think so.
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TheOneInTheShadows · 1 decade ago
Because you went through all this, and you still stay strong
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
I'm not staying strong, I just keep on acting and living for as long as I can, but I crumble bit by bit nonetheless
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lillan122 · 1 decade ago
I know how you feel.... I went though stuff like that!
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
I understand. I hope your feeling better then I am though.
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lillan122 · 1 decade ago
Listen, dont hate yourself, your amazing... Trust me! :) Smile it'd look good on you! Forget the past, move on from that, start dating, partying, been a boy! showing off who you are! Maybe showing of your style, like most boys!
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
I do my best to smile, I have been dating, yet broke my heart. Partying isn't my style, and I prefer the background.
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crazyMCRfangirl · 1 decade ago
It seems like you've been thought a lot of sh/t dude. You need to hang in there. I will always be there for you. You can trust me with anything. I know we only talked once, but I still consider you as my friend.
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks, I'm grateful for that. But I have a shrink, or at least, will have a new one next thursday, my previous shrink is having a baby...
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crazyMCRfangirl · 1 decade ago
Well okay. But if you cant talk to your shrink you can always talk to me. I'll be here to help :)
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks!
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crazyMCRfangirl · 1 decade ago
no problem :)
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
This is probably going to mean nothing to you and it's probably just words on a screen, but I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. I really am.
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks, but I have a shrink.
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
Yeah I totally understand but sometimes, it's just nice to vent to someone who knows pretty much nothing about you
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
It burdens me if I do that, because I left most stuff on my mind out off it here, I am afraid of burdening others...
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
Honestly, it won't burden me. But anyway, the offer's always there if you need it, lovely :)
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
Thanks, but you can't know if it would burden you until you know exactly what it is, would you? And I prefer not to let you find out. I won't take the risk
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
I do know. It won't burden me. If it does then it's a good thing. It makes me forget my own problems. The only way you get anywhere in life is taking risks
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
I only take risks with my own life, messing around with other people's lives is sick. I might go cliffdiving, but I won't be pulling anyone else with me.
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
I promise it won't burden me. I swear. If it does then I'll never speak to you again, change my name and move to mexico. But besides, I'd never go cliffdiving anyways ;)
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FrankConnor · 1 decade ago
I'm sorry, but I think it just won't help me. I have a shrink to talk to, and even if it wouldn't burden you, I'd still feel guilty. And why wouldn't you go cliffdiving? It's quite fun. I did it a few times, In France, Croatia and Spain. a bit scary in the beginning, but once you're falling, it's totally worth it.
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IJustNeedLovee · 1 decade ago
Well the offer is always there. And I dunno. I'm just not the sort of person to go cliff diving. I'm not bee adventurous
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