Today is my birthday.



Im fifteen now. I look back at everything I've accomplished. All the arguments I've have. All the times I've felt alone. All the times I've cried of pain or of laughter. All the scars.  I think about how far I've made it. Fifteen years. Ten years of school. Seven years of performing music. Five years without both parents. I finished elementary school and middle school. I'm in my first year of high school. All the friends I've made and left. All the friends I've made and kept. All the times I've fallen in "love".  All the camping trips I've been on. All the long car rides. All the long thoughts. All the imaginary friends when all mine left me. All the rushes to the emergency room. All the babies brought home from the hospital. All the Christmases I got nothing I wanted. All the times my grandparents asked "Do you feel any older today?". All the unanswered questions. All the years. 15. All the days. 5479. All the seconds. 473,385,600. All the fun times I've had. All the bad times I've had. The best days and the worst. The hours spent searching for a shooting star to make that one special wish. All the times I've said "I hate you". All the times I've said "I love you". All the dances. All the songs. All the injuries. All the inches. All the drawings. All the tears. All the smiles. All the hugs. Ah, the hugs were my favorite. All the hours and hours of practice. All the awards. All the laughs. All the good times. All the everything. I've tried to end my life more than once. I have more disorders than I can count. But I just have ever took the time to think about everything. Since the day I was born until now. It's like it has all gone by so fast. So quickly. So.. I'm already fifteen. My oldest brother moved out already. My oldest sister in the army. My older brother is in jail. There's me. All six of my younger siblings are just chilling out. I want to make the best of my life. Starting today. No more bad thoughts. No more cuts. I will eat. I will smile. I will be happy about life. December 9, 1997 2:56 a.m. And just looking back at everything. I'm fifteen now, but only for now.



Today is my birthday.