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Am I being irrational?
Please help.
»Long story short (well the first part anyways), we were best friends for six months, I got a crush on him, fell for him and then he said he fell for me too. We had the perfect relationship after that, best friends, but meaning the words I love you. But then, he thought it was too much friends and not enough proper love. So we broke up. 2 days later, he got a new girlfriend which he only stayed with for about a week. When he was with her, we talked, but the conversations always ended with me getting upset, because in my eyes, if someone can go out wth someone after 2 days, then he mustn't have ever cared about me. When they broke up the conversations were easier because I didn't have to imagine that he could be sending an I love you message to her.
But anyway. After that we talked a bit more, but it was like we talked for 3 days straight and maybe had a phone call in those days where we'd end up falling asleep. Then I'd text him one day and he wouldn't reply. So, not wanting to seem despeate, I left it 3 or 4 days then text him again and he wouldn't reply. So then I thought that I should just let him go. But then he would message me again. And then it would repeat.
One night we got pretty serious and he asked how I felt about him and I said that I still love him. He said he didn't think he loved me, but he had some small feelings for me. Then he said he wished I was his and that he could kiss me, which got me completly confused. After this, was another week of him not replying or texting me (this would be a good time to tell you he lives 500 miles away).
Then one day after about 2 weeks without a message I just asked him straight about how he feels about me and he said that he didn't know. So. I'm confused. He wants me to be his and He has feelings for me then he doesn't know if he does. Ugh.
So it's been about a week since I messaged him about that. Meaning in 3 weeks with one message. So I thought it all over one night and I realised that he's just playing with my heart and he's put me through too much that I shouldn't keep holding on.
So I deleted him off facebook yesterday and I'm just waiting for him to ask why. When he does, 
(this is where the 'am I being irrational? bit comes in)
I'll say something like this:
Because I've made the descision to let you go. What's the point in holding on if all it leads to is you playing with my mind&heart and me getting hurt. You said that you don't know if you have feelings for me because we never talk anymore. But to be honest, I think it should be you starting the conversation and making an effort. I've always tried to keep everything together. I've always given in if we ever had disagreements just so we don't have any tension. So why should I make an effort? If you really wanted to be with me then you should be the one that's going through hell trying to keep me. But if you can't be bothered, then fine. But would you just tell me that you don't want to fight for me? Because I hate not knowing weather to hold on or let go. It's so horrible you don't even know. I wish you would just tell me. Because I'm tired of waiting for you. &if you realise in a month and tell me then, I'll be gone. I'll hold my ground no matter how much I love you. Because it's just not worth it anymore if you don't care.

I'm sorry that this is so long. I just needed to vent. No one will read, but if you do, please comment&if you can, try to help me? Sorry for wasting your time.«
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Am I being irrational? Please help. »Long story short (well

5 faves · 12 comments · Nov 27, 2012 4:21pm

MeeAndYoou

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MeeAndYoou


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lettherainhideyourtears · 1 decade ago
I don't think it's irrational at all, I think you're right for feeling the way you feel and he shouldn't of played with your heart. Don't keep it bottled up inside of you forever because you will regret not telling him. Good luck. <3
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MeeAndYoou · 1 decade ago
Thank you<3
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MrefusetosinkH · 1 decade ago
It's not irrational to feel the way you feel. If he's put you through this much and doesn't seem to give a second thought about it, he's not worth it. You deserve the best, just like everyone else
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kiwi* · 1 decade ago
I can understand both points of view.
I mean, his, he was best friends with you for a while and then he 'falls for you', and things just.. get wack. He's confused and doesn't know what to do, which is probably a nerve-wracking feeling, meaning he probably just wants to get rid of those feelings.
I know someone who did that to me.
Anyway, and then your point of view, I can completely understand. But when you look back on the situation, you only thought of how you felt about it, didn't you? Very common to do that. Before you make any permanent decision, I strongly suggest you look at his point of view, too. Put yourself in his shoes. If you don't know why he's doing this, then just think of reasons he's doing so. Can you understand why he's doing that?
If you can, either way, just talk to him about it before making such a decision like this. Even though he has hurt you, everyone makes mistakes and they don't realize it until they do it again a few times (that is, if no one has tried to point it out to them). You really should just try to talk to him about what's going on and give him time to think about things (because everyone gets confused about their feelings towards someone at one point in their life, right?), just in case you might be making a mistake.
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MeeAndYoou · 1 decade ago
This has helped a lot. I kind of understand that maybe, it would be a bit confusing if you've been best friends for so long, then you think it's love rather than friendship, but that would be confusing, because it confused me for a while too. Although, I get attached so easily that it's easier for me to know when I really care for someone as more than just a friend. I've always loved him more than he's loved me. But, it's just the way that he tells me he has feelings for me, he wants me to be mine and he keeps saying things that make me think he cares more than a friend. But then he counters it. It just really confuses me. I wish he could just tell me straight. But again, when I think about explaining feelings, that can be one of the hardest things to do. If I think about everything, I can understand his point-of-view better. But as well... I'm not saying that I'm completely disagreeing with what I said first that he should put in effort. Because, he doesn't. He's said that he doesn't know about his feelings for me because that we don't talk. I've talked to him. I've texted him first and messaged him first, and he hasn't replied. I've put in effort and he hasn't. I'm not one of those people who wants him to start the conversation all the time, but I've tried and he hasn't. &The thing about him talking to me loads then just nothing for days, weeks even and he just doesn't try. He's told me one time that he messaged me because he misses me. But the way he talks to me, just confuses me :/ I wish there was some way that he would know for certain for how he feels, but I know from my own experiences that, that's almost impossible. But really, thanks. You've helped alot. Oh and thanks for a long reply, it always makes me feel that people can care.
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kiwi* · 1 decade ago
Yeah.. I completely understand you. I mean, I would want and wish the same things too if I were in your situation. But it really helps a lot if you just try to place yourself in their shoes, you know? You can understand things a lot more easily. And yeah, I completely agree about the effort thing. It doesn't really seem like he's putting in a lot of effort... and, I hate beating around the bush, so I won't lol, but anyway and he seems like... he doesn't really care. Like, he'll reply when he realizes it's been a long time, or maybe even when he wants something. Typical guys. I'd say 'It takes two to tango', but that's for something else.. eheh Cx But as I have said to other people, communication is the key. You NEED to communicate in order to solve problems and try to make things work. Sure, heartbreak does suck, right? But you learn a lesson from it, and once you leave, another comes. Just try to talk to him if you really want to make things work, because I KNOW problems can't be solved and questions can't be answered unless you communicate and discover yourself. Also, you are absolutely welcome!(: I love helping people, and I love it when I see that they say I've helped them. It's the one thing I can enjoy doing without thinking of my own problems. Aaaaaaaaaaand you're welcome for the long replies. I always give long replies to people when it comes to advice. :3
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MeeAndYoou · 1 decade ago
Thank you so much :)
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kiwi* · 1 decade ago
absolutely welcome<3
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FlawedPerfectly · 1 decade ago
I don't think you're being irrational at all. I mean, I think it's good that you're even willing to let go! I couldn't do that, so I think that makes you strong. I think that's a good response. <3 Talk to me if you need anything<3
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MeeAndYoou · 1 decade ago
I'm willing to let go, because I know I should, but I know if I get a message from him and don't stand my ground, I'll just crumble and it just won't work. When I think about it, I should just leave it. But there's something about him that no one else can understand. I just wish everything would work out and it would be ok, but I'm sure that won't happen.
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FlawedPerfectly · 1 decade ago
Let go. I know what it's like to be in your situation, not exactly, but I've been in one like it. It's a lot better to let go. Save yourself the heartbreak.
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samjam · 1 decade ago
Is it even possible if he lives 500 miles away? I mean that isnt a couple towns over.. If like you guys lived really close and were going out for like a year and then he had to move then it might be different but I think 500 miles is a little far for comfort. Idk you may feel different but. And a relationship doesn't work if its only one person trying so you were right about that.
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