You wouldnt notice if
someone really wanted to die or not.
You wouldnt notice that when you
look away from them they stop smiling. You dont notice the way
they become more controlled. Their laugh is controlled, Their
smile even smaller, fake. Maybe every once in awhile you will
catch them with this sad distant look in their eyes. You will
notice how they seem to just stare into nothing, like their
alone and completley gone. You probably won't notice the
way the slowly start to distant themselves, they don't say
as much. They stop telling you about themselves. Maybe they
make up excuses saying "Sorry I'am busy" or
"No I'am a little tired" and you will believe
them. You will make a joke that tears them, but they will laugh
it off. Every time. You may say something on accident
"maybe you should kill yourself" and they will laugh
that off but inside they feel like you actually meant it. No
matter what, thats what they think. Maybe if you paid more
attention. Would you notice how their skin became more covered
up? They're wearing jackets when its clearly hot out.
Their hands are constantly pulling the sleeves down more,
trying to cover up their fingers to. They just dont want to be
seen, but its so subtle. Maybe you compliment them, their
answers become shorter. Just a simple "Thanks". Of
course they dont believe it, they think their all lies. Even
though they say it with a smile on their face, watch out for
that empty look in their eyes. Just pay attention to them.
It's nearly impossible to spot someone with self-hate,
unless you're one of them.
But just never look
away.
5 faves · Nov 8, 2012 4:34pm