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and you would never know
that I worry everyday. I worry that I'm going to end up alone. I worry that my parents won't be able to pay for college. I worry I'll never learn to drive. I'm silently suffering. It's all smiles and laughs on the outside. On the inside, I examine everything said to me, what it all could me. I find every reason possible for people to dislike me. So I'm quiet. You would never know that I'm developing multiple forms of anxiety. I fear the unknown, especially people. I fear failure. I fear rejection. On the outside, my chin is up. On the inside, I'm cowering away from the light. No one can possibly understand. I can dance in from of a thousand strangers but I get nervous when I have to talk in a group of people I've known since I was 8. And you want to know why? Because I am crushed by the pressure to be perfect. They say "love is louder than the pressure to be perfect." Not really. I don't feel the love, just the pressure. I feel the need to be accepted and the fear that I won't be. If I'm not perfect, what can I even do? Nothing. People won't accept me if I'm not perfect. They judge me beccause of a few past decisions and my awkwardness. Don't say this is a judgement free place. Don't say you understand. Because it's not, you don't. I just need someone to read this and tell me it will be okay. I haven't heard that in a while. Someone sympathise with me.

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and you would never know that I worry everyday. I worry that

2 faves · 1 comments · Oct 12, 2012 10:44pm

MisguidedGhost

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MisguidedGhost


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lettherainhideyourtears · 1 decade ago
I'm always here to talk. :) Everything will be okay, I hope you know that.
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