Me:

*Walks into mall*

Me:

Woo, air conditioning.

Me:

*Looks at mom*

Me:

I swear to god, I'm the only teenager who has to come to the mall with their mom.

Me:

Me:

Me:

*Looks at a group of teenagers*

Me:

You b/tches look like the cast of 90210

Me:

Me:

I'm so jealous.

Me:

*Sniff*

Me:

Hollister is just around the corner.

Me:

*Sniff sniff*

Me:

Across from Abercrombie and fitch.

Me:

Me:

I bet that whole hallway smells like teenage boys and stuck up girls.

Me:

Me:

Ohhh that outfits so freakin' PRETTY.

Me:

*Looks at price tag*

Me:

*Walks away sadly*

Me:

Me:

He's so hot.

Me:

Hey Mr. Hotty

Me:

*Walks a little farther away from mom*

Me:

Hey Mr. Hot hotty hot stuff hot guy hot like chilly peppers

Me:

*Attempted wink turns into awkward blinking*

Me:

Oh you have a girlfriend.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Forever alone.

Me:

*Walks into store with family*

Mom:

Oh, this looks like a lovely shirt! Do you like it? *Holds up hideous blouse*

Me:

No, mom.

Mom:

But its-

Me:

No.

Me:

*Walks out of store*

Me:

Me:

Ohh forever21

Me:

*peeks in store*

Me:

Too many teenage girls that are prettier than me.

Me:

Too jealous.

Me:

ABORT ABORT.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Ooh, smells like pretzels and cinnamon.

Me:

But thats how they get you.

Me:

Put that obnoxious smell out in the air so it'll make you come in.

Me:

... It's like Hollister..

Me:

But with pretzels.

Me:

Me:

Me:

*Walks into build-a-bear*

Me:

*Builds a bear*

Me:

I'm gonna call you Ted

Me:

*Hugs Ted*

Me:

Just know that in a couple of weeks you'll probably be under my bed in a pile of lint.

Me:

Me:

*Sees group of teenagers*

Me:

*Gives bear to mom to save the embarrassment of walking around with a teddy*

Me:

Sorry Ted.

Me:

It's not me, it's you.

Me:

Me:

Me:

*Makes eyecontact with girl*

Me:

B/tch I hate you.

Me:

Fall off a cliff.

Me:

*Walks farther away from girl*

Me:

I'm so jealous of her, she's so pretty.

Me:

Mom:

We should be going now.

Me:

I didn't even get anything.

Mom:

WELL HURRY UP AND GET A SHIRT.

Me:

*Hurries in random store and a pair of earrings*

Mom:

This is all you want?

Me:

Yeah.

Mom:

*Buys stuff*

Me:

Me:

Santa Claus:

The Queen of England:

Shoelace:

Bob Marley:

Me:

Pathetic.