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HELLO! COULD YOU HELP ME?
could you please tell me if my story is good so far? The boy I like asked me to write him a story. Please help?

                                        Zoey

I was on my boat looking down at the days catch. I found a little squid and had to bring it home. It was the cutest thing ever. I was sad though as i watched it inch towards the wall of the live bait storage. This little guy couldn’t be bait, who could kill an adorable thing like that. I wanted to keep him, but i thought about my dad. He would never let me keep it. He would probably want to eat it, knowing him. Why did i even keep him? I was only going to bring him harm. That was probably one of my mistakes i could add to the list.

I wished i could go back to the ocean and drop the little creature back into his home.Now thinking about it, i could.

I Stepped off my boat and headed towards the ocean. I stuck my toes into the dry sand and breathed in heavily. While walking into the wet sand, I saw Lucas carrying his board back to his Jeep. He looked over at me and ran towards me.

“Hey Zoe whatcha got in the bucket?” He said peering into my pale.

“A baby squid! look at it isn’t it adorable?” i added looking back at Lucas.

“Haha yeah it is. What are you going to do with it?”

“I want to free it. we caught it today.”

“nice, alright well i will catch up with you later!”

“See ya Lukey”

He glanced back, smiled and waved and he was back with his friends. He doesn’t know those few seconds talking to me means a lot. We have always been friends but hes my only good friend. Looking at him makes me actually feel good about myself. Even though i was the school nerd and he was the most popular we were best friends from day one.


                                 Lucas

Listening to my favorite song, heading back from the beach on a hot summer morning makes my life just about the best. I saw Zoe today, i think she looks the best when she wears her hair up in a bun jean shorts and a tee oh and no make up (but she never wears it anyway). That’s exactly what she was wearing today. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked but she seems a bit different. More quiet than usual. Not the normal Zoe im used to seeing.

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HELLO! COULD YOU HELP ME? could you please tell me if my story

0 faves · 1 comments · Jun 26, 2012 9:38pm

codysimpson4eva

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codysimpson4eva


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awesome111 · 1 decade ago
I am a time traveler.
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