Once I get halfway towards our lunch table, it
happens right in the middle of the cafeteria, when I’m
completely surrounded by people. I break down. My emotions hit me.
I couldn’t even hold them in, I didn’t see it coming.
Tears flowed down my face to the extreme. James’ and
Vanessa’s and Jo’s and Ky’s faces all dropped.
James and Vanessa rushed out of their seats. I broke down. I fell
to my knees. I threw my bag. This was the type of break down you
have by yourself in your room and throw everything around; I used
to have them a lot. But, this one was 10 times worse. I was sobbing
uncontrollably. James came over and picked me up off the floor and
started to run to get me out of the cafeteria full of people.
Vanessa picked up my bag and stuff and saw one kid video-taping it
on his phone. Only one person even tried. Vanessa grabbed hold of
his phone, deleted the video, and then slammed the phone to the
ground and it shattered. No one else even wanted to attempt making
a video after that. I fell to pieces in James’ arms. Emily
had come out of the bathroom and saw the whole thing. She
wasn’t laughing like all the others though. I just wanted to
go home. Everyone would be gone at this time of day. So, James took
me home. He carries me to my room; it was just him and me. I
finally stop freaking out.
“What happened to you?” He asks concerned.
“I just really don’t know and don’t want to talk
about it, James.”
“That’s fine. What do you want to do for the rest of
the day then? I’m all yours.” He says softly with a
smile.
“I don’t know.” We just lay on my bed spooning
and cuddling. He has his hands around my waist. Everything at that
moment was perfect. Until I mistakenly blurt out randomly, “I
made myself throw up again today for the first time in 3
weeks…” James looks at me with sad eyes and is
concerned. “I thought you were getting better? Why?” He
says.
“Jo told me I looked like I was getting chunky from actually
eating food again today at lunch before you got there.” I
told him to whole story of my encounter in the bathroom with Emily.
After he hugs me tighter. “Well, you might be more fragile
than most girls, but you’re all mine.” He finally says.
Everything is perfect again. James and I have 3 hours together
before Vanessa and my mom will get home. James and I cuddle and
talk for an hour. Then we start kissing and making out and before I
knew it we were taking off each other’s clothes. This day was
memorable for so many reasons, especially since it was the first
time James and I were intimate. We got dressed again after and just
lie in bed together and fell asleep until Vanessa woke us up when
she came home off the bus. “Hey, your mom is going to be home
any minute, you got to look like you guys just got home now!”
Vanessa yells at us. We sit up and all of us run to the living room
and turn on the TV before my mom got home. Later that night, after
James went home, I told Vanessa about what James and I did. She was
shocked, but was happy for us. I realized James and I already took
the big step and had only been dating for about a week or so, but
we were so connected and it felt as if we had been dating for
months and months. I was truly in love with James and I knew I had
to tell him soon.
