Every person in the world would like to think that they have total control over every situation they are in. Rarely ever are these type of thoughts said out loud, but they are there, in every human brain. We want to know what's going on, we want things to go exactly the way we plan it. We want to control what people say, what they think, the way they act, so that whenever something happens, it happens in our favour. You can be a shy person, barely say a word, but in your head you know the way you want things to be done. There is a little control freak in all of us, and the sooner we all realise that we can never control everything, the better off we will be.
It was Friday the next time I saw him. For some reason he had been absent more days than he had been present. I walked into class to see him sitting on a desk, talking to someone in the chair beside him. As I got closer I realised it was Serena.
"Hey girl!" she called as she caught sight of me. "Running a bit late this morning were we? I waited for you for ages, but then I had to come to class."
"Yeah, woke up late," I dropped my bag down next to the desk I usually sit in.
"Got the milk worked out yet?" Jay looked down on me from his perch on the desk. His dark chocolate eyes stared right through mine, and for a split second I felt as though he was looking straight past them and into my soul. I had to take a second to compose myself, so as to not make a complete fool of myself, again. I pulled my focus away from his mesmerising eyes. He had his right eyebrow raised again - it appeared to be a habit of his. It was kind of cute. His short hair was styled slightly messily, but in a perfect way.
"White liquid that comes from cows, right?" I gave him a subtle wink as the teacher walked through the door and told us to take our seats. I was in total control of my own mind, and of my little crush on Jay. I was going to make him want me.
All the interesting stuff seemed to happen in the cafeteria. Serena, Rosalie and I were going over our plans for the weekend when Jay walked straight up to our table and sat down. There was an abrupt silence around out table. No one knew why he was there, or why he thought himself good enough to join the conversation, when the three of us were clearly speaking privately.
"Oh hi Jay. Yes, we're good, how are you? Oh, of course you can sit down, go ahead!" Serena said sarcastically.
Jay completely ignored her and looked to me. "Party. Saturday night, you in?"
I didn't break the eye contact for a second. "Where at?"
"My place," he took his wallet out of his pocket and pulled a small piece of paper from it, all the while looking straight into my eyes. With one eyebrow raised, he took my hand, turned it over and placed the paper inside it.
"Be there," he said, getting up from the table.
"We'll see," I smiled and watched him leave.
I could feel Serena and Rosalie's eyes watching me from either side.
"We are so there," I said to them, knowing that was the question they wanted to ask. Rose let out a little giggle and I heard them high-five behind me. I stared straight ahead of me, mindlessly picking at the french fries while the girls discussed what they were going to wear. I couldn't concentrate on their conversation, I was too busy envisioning him sitting there, looking into my eyes, into my soul. He was so beautiful. Perfect. Jay was so perfect, that I didn't think I deserved him.
13 faves · 2 comments · Jun 9, 2012 10:40pm