no matter how hard you try, you have a breaking point. a point where you'd rather sit in bed and stare at your window, than make plans and go out with your family. you try to repair the bridges you've burnt, try to find the happiness you had and lost, but you can't convince yourself to care, to put the effort in to feel that happiness. you know it's going to be short lived, so whats the point? why even try? a point where everyday you wish you didn't wake up. and you wish you could go out in the world with tears running down your eyes, hunched over with the power of your sobs, so someone could see how broken you are. but something tells you to smile and fight it. it tells you that you can overcome the pain, that you can survive. but then you get to the point where you know you can't survive. you know your heart will never be the same. you know it, and it fills your hollow heart. you don't want to survive. you want to sink into the corner of your room, put your head in your knees and stay there forever. you wouldn't miss anyone.  you don't choose not to care, you just can't. and as that last light of hope, of happiness, withers away, you're left with nothing, nobody. and then what do you do? what do you do when there's nothing left to do? what do you do when you've given up on living? what do you do?