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i hate myself.
i know people say this all the time, and not to say that they don't mean it.
but i am almost certain that not everybody feels this way. i mean, everyone
is fighting their own war. and everyone has something, that one thing that
pulls you back into suffering, that breaks your strings. my hate for myself
is, theoretically, a pair of scissors that snap at the strings that hold belle,
the person, together. i am too hard on myself. my own thoughts bring me
to the point where i'm shaking and can't function or speak properly. i tell
myself that i am unloveable. but i know that isn't all the way true. nice belle
is very loveable. she's very chilled out, and funny, and just wants to hang
out and laugh and smoke and drink all the time. but psycho belle, she
hits the lowest lows. she has no faith in herself. and she wants to kill nice
belle. and as i write this, i am actually sorting out my thoughts and i wonder
if, perhaps, i am certifiably crazy. and then i realize that i probably am. and
then i realize that i've always known that.
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i hate myself. i know people say this all the time, and not to

3 faves · Apr 19, 2012 12:08am






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